Title: One Hell of an Antidote
Pairings: Eleven/Amy/Rory
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 25457
Summary: Rory finds he's doing a lot of unexpected things with his life. Constantly seeing things that should be impossible, loving in perhaps unconventional ways, and way more running than he anticipated. He wouldn't give it up for anything.
Notes: Written for [info]polybigbang. Huge thanks to [info]reinventweather, as always, for the beta, and for talking me through this in its various stages. ♥ And much love for [info]alchemise, who made the amazing art to go with the story! Check it out (either now or at the end, there are no spoilers) and let her know how much you love it!

Rory steps out of the TARDIS, and he can't quite believe his eyes: a real, proper beach, with sand and ocean and seagulls. And it only took them five tries.

"I don't know how many times I've promised you a beach," the Doctor had said. "So that's where we're going, a proper beach."

Of course, Rory and Amy both had shaken their heads and smiled fondly at him, because there was always, inevitably, something more interesting going on off the beach, if they even made it that far.

"You go out first," Amy had told the Doctor when they landed. "I'm not going out dressed the wrong way again. I nearly froze to death last time. If we're not at the beach, I'm staying in."

Rory gives her a dubious look for that, and she stands firm with her crossed arms for a whole three seconds before adding, "Or, well, you're at least going to wait for me to change clothes first."

But the Doctor actually did it this time. It's a lovely, deserted (according to the Doctor) island, and maybe the water's a bit too purple and the gulls look more like eels with wings, but it's real and it actually feels like a proper vacation getaway.

When they first get settled, it's oddly like they haven't even left Earth. The Doctor stays in the TARDIS to make sure everything's all set, and as Amy straightens up her towel and positions herself in just the right way to catch the proper amount of sunlight (Rory will never understand this phenomenon), he feels like they're just at home, having a proper, boring holiday.

But then the Doctor comes out to join them and he's still wearing his bowtie and braces (though he has at least thought to ditch the jacket), and Rory has to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Maybe it's not quite like home.

Amy reprimands him for the completely ridiculous outfit, but the Doctor's mind is not easily swayed.

"But I don't want to get in the water, why would I need swimming trunks?"

Rory is content to let the two of them hash it out, and he's quite enjoying himself until the Doctor turns to him and says, "Rory, if you weren't going swimming, and you were comfortable like this--"

"Oh, no," Rory says, holding his hands up. "Don't pull me in the middle, I am not getting involved."

Of course, that just makes Amy insist that he pick a side, and the Doctor defends Rory's decision to stay out of it, and then their bickering is about him, so he has to put a stop to it.

"Alright!" he shouts over the two of them. "Just, Doctor, go change."

The Doctor looks at him with searching eyes, but Rory's not about to back down now. There's only so much bickering he can take with the two of them.

"Fine," the Doctor finally says petulantly. Amy utters a happy little hmph and Rory knows he's forgiven when the Doctor pats him on the shoulder before heading back to the TARDIS.

Amy smiles at him and gives him a quick kiss, his reward for taking her side, he supposes.

"Oh," she says suddenly as if realizing something, staring at his bare shoulders, "you're going to get all burnt. I'd better see the Doctor about sunscreen."

"Don't, I'll go get it," Rory says, but she tunes him out completely and hurries off in the direction of the TARDIS. "Or I can just... wait here."

He stares out at the sea while he waits. The scene is calm and peaceful just like he always wished for when he'd been younger, when inevitably there would be tons of tourists making a great deal of noise.

It's nice. It's exactly what he had always wanted on a holiday: a chance to be by himself with his thoughts.

But that was before the Doctor. Now, he's seen so much, so many lifeforms and planets and foods, and he's been able to share all of it with Amy and the Doctor. Now, on his own, he stares out at the water and is unbelievably bored.

He considers going exploring, but he's learned quite well to listen to the Doctor's rule of "don't wander off." Plus, is there even anything to explore on a deserted island?

While he's contemplating this, he starts to get a strange feeling that someone is watching him. He sits up straighter, trying to shake it off, and slowly, he focuses his gaze subtly to the left.

There is sudden movement, and Rory yelps. What he can only describe as a chipmunk with elephant ears darts away from him, frightened by the sudden noise. "Oh, hello," he says quietly, reaching toward it slowly. He's suddenly reminded of the Narnia tales, and part of him wonders with some paranoia that the creature is going to give him an exasperated look and tell him to stop that.

It doesn't though, and just like his aunt's cat, it takes his stillness as a sign of safety and cautiously comes closer. Rory waits patiently, smiling when it gets close enough to sniff at his hand.

"They're quite beautiful creatures, aren't they?" the Doctor says, popping up out of bloody nowhere and making Rory nearly jump out of his skin.

"You scared it off!" Rory accuses, watching the animal scurry into the trees.

"Me? You're the one that shooed it away," the Doctor says, dropping to a sitting position next to Rory.

"That wasn't shooing, that was... gesturing! I was trying to protect myself because you snuck up on me!"

Rory looks at the Doctor properly now, realizing that he's followed through with Amy's instructions, and is wearing only a simple pair of trunks. He looks... normal. It's weird.

"Gesturing, how's that working as a front line of self-defense?" the Doctor asks quietly with a small smile.

"It gets me by," Rory replies, smiling back. He listens to the subtle roar of the ocean and feels the sun on his skin and in that moment, he feels completely content.

"Here's your sunscreen," Amy says from behind him, and that's all the warning he gets before she chucks the bottle at his back.

"Ow," he complains, but quietly. Then he notices her new outfit. "Where did you get that?"

"TARDIS wardrobe," she explains, admiring the new, skimpier bathing suit. Rory can't help but admire it, too, but he edges a look over at the Doctor, curious about his reaction.

"She's quite good to her favorite passengers," the Doctor says, and still, after all this time, it takes Rory a second to realize he's talking about the TARDIS. He stops trying to figure out if the Doctor is checking out his wife and feels oddly touched by the statement, even if the Doctor was referring to Amy and not him.

The Doctor shifts to look at him, and Rory's momentarily at a loss for words. He starts to wonder if he should say thank you, if maybe the Doctor can read his thoughts, but the Doctor just says, "Would you like some help with that?"

Rory stares at him dumbly at first, feeling as usual two steps behind. "He means the sunscreen, idiot," Amy helpfully supplies, and Rory doesn't even glare at her.

"Sure, yeah," he says, taking the bottle and putting some on himself. The Doctor moves behind him to spread the lotion on his back, and Rory catches Amy's grin. He rolls his eyes at her and she gives him a look of false innocence, but the Doctor just goes on rubbing his back, happily oblivious. It's quite nice actually, and the lotion's not even cold. He ignores the innuendo he can read in Amy's eyes and concentrates on rubbing the lotion into his arms.

When the Doctor finishes up, Amy insists he let her do his back. The Doctor agrees happily, still oblivious, and Rory watches as Amy rubs the lotion slowly into his skin. Somewhat surprisingly, he doesn't feel angry, more fondly exasperated, especially since the Doctor has no idea what she's aiming at.

"You'd better let me do your face as well," she says, having him turn to face her. Rory stares in amazement as the Doctor sits perfectly still, eyes closed, for at least fifteen seconds.

Amy pauses her lotion-related endeavors and seems to appreciate the phenomenon too. She glances back at Rory for a fleeting moment, then reaches out for the Doctor, framing his face with her hands. Rory has barely a second to decide whether he should protest, but the Doctor's eyes slide open before Amy can lean in for the kiss, and then he's backing away, stammering; standing up and moving back.

Rory feels completely embarrassed for him, feeling himself blush despite not being involved at all. The Doctor makes up some excuse before running off, and Rory glares at Amy and says, "You've got to stop doing that."

Amy just rolls her eyes. "You're no fun."

Rory knows the dismissal when he hears it, so he continues. "Seriously though. It makes him uncomfortable. And uncomfortable people make me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is starting to not sound like a word anymore."

"He doesn't mind," she insists, scoffing.

"Amy," he says, giving her a meaningful look. He hopes the look is more eloquent than he is.

She stares him down for a few moments, but eventually sighs. "Fine," she says, "I'll be a little less... forward."

Rory thinks that's not much of a promise, but he knows that's all he's going to get.

"Aw, you're cute when you're jealous," Amy says, cuddling up to him.

"I'm not jealous," he protests, but he welcomes her kiss nonetheless. Okay, maybe he is a bit jealous, but it feels different from the way he was jealous when he first met the Doctor. And part of him wonders what the two of them would look like, kissing, which doesn't make sense at all.

Amy insists on "getting some sun" for a while and the Doctor hasn't come back yet, so Rory starts building a sandcastle. It changes from a sandcastle to more of a sandworld by the time the Doctor shows up, and he's so thrilled about it that he joins Rory in adding buildings and creatures. The sand is easier to shape than the sand from Earth, and Rory feels a bit like that's cheating, but he's proud of the end result.

The Doctor regards him with one of his huge smiles, and Rory opens his mouth to thank the Doctor for this getaway, for taking a break for just one day. But the adorable elephant-eared chipmunk darts out onto the sand again, catching Rory's eye, and before he knows it the creature has destroyed one of their skyscrapers and is hiding behind the wall of another. Rory feels a sense of foreboding and shares a look with the Doctor before looking back toward the treeline.

Looks like the island isn't so deserted after all.


"I can't believe you told us that island was deserted!" Rory protests, later. "There must have been a thousand of those things!"

"Lucky they were deathly afraid of water," Amy points out. She looks toward the Doctor and adds, "Lucky you were talked into wearing swimming trunks."

"Well, it stands to reason that they'd be afraid of water, what with being deserted on an island and not being able to fish," the Doctor says, ignoring the last part of her statement. "You two get some rest, then we'll see about getting the pachmunks to a more suitable habitat."

Rory kneels down to the cage containing several dozen of the elephant-eared chipmunks, or pachmunks, as the Doctor called them. He recalls following the friend he'd made on the beach back to his home and discovering that those things, whatever they were, had nearly destroyed their habitat. When the Doctor approached, he studied Rory’s devastated expression for only a few moments before he clasping Rory's shoulder and declaring that they would have to gather them all up and find them a better home. Rory had been oddly touched.

The Doctor wanders off with a statement about putting on proper clothes, and Rory looks back to see a pout on Amy's face. Rory feels a bit disappointed himself, though he can't quite pin down why. He's sure it's something to do with how the Doctor had looked almost like a normal bloke dressed that way.

"We should probably get a shower ourselves," Amy tells him, but he only half-hears her because the pachmunk is snuggling against his outstretched hand. It ruffles its ears, tickling his hand a bit, and he feels a smile stretching across his face. No matter where they go, life continues to amaze him.

"Rory," Amy complains, crouching down next to him.

"Right, shower, yeah. You can go first, I don't mind." When she doesn't move, Rory turns to her and discovers her 'I'm waiting for you to get it' look. "Oh! You mean, oh. Right!"

Amy laughs at him and swats him on the shoulder affectionately. "In a few minutes," she decides, leaning against him to presumably wait.

Rory shifts to press a kiss against her temple, and the pachmunk makes a squeaking noise the moment Rory stops paying attention to it. Amy giggles softly from beside him, and Rory feels as if he's on top of the world.


There are ups and downs to traveling with Amy and the Doctor, but there's one thing that he can never complain about: he's getting shagged. A lot. Amy loves the thrill of adventure and by the end of the day, no matter how exhausted either of them are, she's always up for something. Sometimes she's still in the mood to play around the next morning. Rory marvels sometimes that he is able to keep up with her.

It took him a few tries to not feel self-conscious in the TARDIS. The Doctor spoke of her like she was alive, and at times, it truly seemed that way. When he and Amy moved in after their wedding, the TARDIS provided a whole new room with a big, comfy bed and plenty of space for both of them. It even came equipped with... supplies. At first, Rory thought with a certain degree of embarrassment that the TARDIS had been a bit psychic in what she had provided, but then he'd found another drawer with whips and things and decided instead she was being more generic. At least he hoped that was the case, and not that Amy had some hidden secret.

Of course, Amy had been thrilled that the TARDIS was so accommodating, and she soon made Rory forget about his embarrassment.

Now, embarrassment is the furthest thing from Rory's mind. His only concern is the possibility of busting his head on the shower wall, and even that is a distant one.

Amy likes to save up blowjobs, only giving them out once in a while, as if they're rewards. Rory has never seen fit to complain, because everything she does is amazing, but she's definitely got some unique skill there. It certainly feels like a reward, anyway.

She sucks and licks, using her hands expertly, the water from the shower dripping warm over the both of them. She cups his balls and, just as he feels himself nearing the edge, she circles one finger around his hole, teasing, and that's all it takes. He comes with a cry and a sweet shudder, Amy clutching at his arse and urging him on.

"Good, yeah?" she asks, smug, as she stands.

Rory nods vigorously. "You're brilliant, you are."

She kisses him soundly, twisting her fingers into his hair. "Come on, let's get dried off so you can return the favor."

Unsurprisingly, Rory has no problems with this plan.


Rory sleeps soundly that night, waking up refreshed and ready to face the new day. Which is good, because they're on the planet of Jsunda for less than an hour before the Doctor announces that something's not right. The next thing Rory knows, they're storming an enormous, ancient castle, the Doctor using the psychic paper to get them right in to see the supposed leader.

"I've been here before. Not so long ago, this land was full of beings of all shapes and sizes. A beautiful melting pot and a thriving society. Now the streets are empty, the shops closed, the forests all but uninhabitable. What happened?"

"Precautions had to be taken," the Jsundan says, narrowing his eyes at the Doctor in suspicion. "Where did you say you were from again?"

The Doctor ignores him, continuing, "Explain to me what happened here, and maybe we can come to a happy agreement."

"We are the Farsowians, and we have no obligation to comply with the demands of... commoners."

The Doctor glances back at Amy, then Rory, before facing the Farsowian resolutely. "Very well, then. I know that you're imprisoning the peoples of this world, and you've frightened the ones that remain into hiding. So this is your warning, your only warning."

The Doctor backs up a step, moving exactly in between Amy and Rory. "Release the citizens of your land, or we'll stop you."

"The only citizens of my land are the Farsowian," he says, menacing, before pressing a button on his chair.

At first, nothing happens, but Rory can feel that something bad is looming just out of sight. He starts to shake a bit with anticipation, but before he can reprimand himself for that weakness, he realizes it's because the floor is shaking beneath him. There is a great rumbling, and the walls start to shake violently.

Rory looks at Amy, who looks at the Doctor, who is still busy staring down the Farsowian. The shaking starts to relent, but then there's a pounding as if a creature three times their size is running toward the room. "Doctor?" Rory prompts nervously.

"Yes, better run, I think," the Doctor says, and leads the way out of the building.


They're somewhere deep beneath the main floor of the castle when the Doctor is captured.

It all happens so fast that Rory is left struggling to remember how it all went down. The Doctor was testing doors with the sonic, though Rory was never sure what he was looking for. When he'd finally found his supposed target with a hahaaa of triumph, he tossed the screwdriver to Amy and--that's when it all went nuts.

Rory had been wrong about the guards; they're at least four times his size. This one must have been waiting right inside the door, because no sooner had the Doctor wrenched it open than its enormous shadow fell over him as it growled menacingly.

Those next moments were a blur, but Rory remembers shouting the Doctor's name, the Doctor saying "run, you idiots!" while facing away from Rory and Amy, and the guard running down the hall in that direction while carrying the Doctor as if he weighed nothing.

Rory is completely lost within the castle, but luckily Amy finds a vacant room where they hide and attempt to catch their breath.

As his mind starts to clear, Rory starts to put the pieces together. Notice everything, the Doctor had said, and Rory knew he could.

"Look!" Amy exclaims, pulling him from his thoughts. She points to a window, several feet above reachable height. "I bet if we worked together, we could move that chair underneath it and get out."

Rory stares at her incredulously. "Why would we do that?"

"To escape," she says succinctly.

Rory moves toward the wall, inspecting the height. They probably could reach it with the chair, if they--But wait, what is he even thinking? "We can't leave."

"Why not?" Amy challenges. "You said that we needed to be more careful in these situations. You said that we should only do what the Doctor tells us, and that otherwise we should stay out of trouble."

"Forget what I said!" Rory shouts, rounding on her. "The Doctor's been captured!"

A smug smile spreads over Amy's face, and Rory instantly feels repentant as he gets it. "Oh, yeah, good job. Rory was wrong once again. You must think you're so clever," he says, pulling a face.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Now, what's the plan?"

Rory takes a few minutes to compose his thoughts. "Why do you think the guard ran off the wrong way after catching the Doctor?"

"He's stupid?" Amy says, shrugging.

Rory rolls his eyes. If he was the Doctor, she would've given an effort. "Nobody's so stupid as to run the wrong way after I clearly shouted from behind him. He's not stupid, he's deaf."

Amy's eyes widen. "And we still have the sonic," she says.

"So if we sneak in without being seen..."

"...we can rescue the Doctor."


Amy watches carefully as they make their way down the hall, reckoning that their shadows were what gave them away the first time. Rory keeps shouting "Doctor, if you can hear us, make a sound, as loud as you can!" He feels a bit silly every time there's no response, and a bit nervous as well. If he's wrong about the guard, then those will be terrible last words.

Before he starts feeling too ridiculous, there is a loud, obnoxious, and very fake sneeze from a room nearby.

"Doctor?" Amy asks as they stand on either side of the door.

Another sneeze, this one just as fake, followed by a growling, and then the Doctor says, "Terribly sorry, I seem to be allergic to your... floors."

"Doctor, we've got the sonic!" Rory says, trying not to be so loud that the vibrations pick up. He has no idea how sensitive a deaf giant would be to that, but he's not taking any chances.

"Setting 438b," the Doctor says carefully. Rory watches Amy fiddle with the controls and therefore misses the door swinging open behind him. He doesn't miss the huge guard sweeping him up into the air, or the subsequent handcuffing.

"Hullo," Rory says dismally when he and Amy are handcuffed and sat on either side of the Doctor.

"Hi," the Doctor says, smiling at him fondly.

"Staying out of trouble, I see," the Doctor says, facing Amy. Rory thinks at first she told the Doctor what he said, but he soon realizes based on her reaction that it's just an off-hand comment.

They're all tied up and facing the guard, which means they can see each other - a gross oversight on the part of the guard, Rory thinks. Still, the guard watches them very closely. He doesn't even blink; it's creepy.

"So, which one of you figured it out?" the Doctor asks, looking from Rory to Amy.

"Rory," Amy says succinctly, favoring him with a smile.

"Good old Rory. I knew you could do it. Always on your toes, eh?" he asks with a proud look, combined with a smile that lights up his whole face. "That's what I love about you."

Rory feels his face heating up under the Doctor's intense gaze, so he drops his gaze, ducking his head a bit. "It was no big deal."

"Of course it was!" the Doctor insists, leaning over a bit to bump his shoulder against Rory's. "It's not every day that a man encounters a giant Faleoci, let alone a deaf one. And to pick up on his weaknesses, that takes a special sort of man."

Rory fidgets within his metal ropes, unsure how he should respond. As he inspects the weird clasp on the ropes, he decides not to respond, instead changing the subject. "What do you make of these, then?"

"Oh, Jsundan technology. Quite beautiful. Excellent craftsman they've got. If only the workers hadn't been forced underground..."

The guard suddenly growls, and the Doctor turns as if to offer his rebuttal, but the guard is looking at Amy.

"What?" she asks, scowling. She lowers her hands from the side of her face back into her lap petulantly. "You try wearing your hair in a bun all day, tied up in a dungeon. If you even had hair," she mumbles.

"Amy," the Doctor warns, but the guard seems satisfied now that both of her hands are where he can see them.

The Doctor looks back at Rory as if to continue their conversation, but Amy interrupts, saying something that Rory cannot understand.

"What?" the Doctor says, apparently not understanding either.

"Was that English?" Rory teases.

"I said," she punctuates, then closes her mouth tightly and speaks out the side. "I think I figured it out."

The Doctor glances back at Rory, eyebrows raised. Rory shrugs; he's got no idea what she's talking about.

"Why did we get caught?" she continues, still in that awkward, mumbled tone. "Why are we tied up facing the guard? It's all the same reason. He can read our lips."

The guard growls three times as loud then, shifting forward and twisting his hands together in a threatening manner.

"Very efficiently," Amy adds, not bothering to hide her words now. "Doctor, explain to me again why planes would never be able to fly on that one planet?"

Rory struggles to figure out how she got to flightless planes from lip-reading guard, but after several moments of listening to the Doctor's rambling answer, he realizes it was just to placate the guard, who is back to watching them without his menacing look.

The wheels start turning in Rory's head, but before he can come up with any new ideas, Amy gives him her trademark determined look and says, "Both of you, start talking."

Rory feels flustered at first, but he does what she says, saying the first thing that comes to his head. "Talk about what? You know my wrists are starting to chafe here. And your hair is falling down, I don't know if you've noticed."

He keeps rambling in this manner, barely able to hear himself over the Doctor's simultaneous rambling.

"Now," Amy shouts over the two of them, "keep going but just mouth your words."

Rory does so, feeling a bit ridiculous but trusting Amy to have a plan. She starts talking while they mumble on silently, and in order to focus on what she's saying Rory has to find something to say that requires less thought. He decides to mouth the words to that song "Airplanes" that he kept hearing on the radio back home.

"So what we need to do is work together," she's saying, and Rory hopes the first part wasn't important. He chances a look at the guard, who is looking helplessly from one of them to the next, but he's not angry. More worried.

"On the count of three," Amy continues, "fall completely silent. Stop moving your mouth. Wait for me to start, and then shout like someone's coming to save us."

Rory understands her plan at the same time that he forgets the next verse to "Airplanes", which is just as well because she's already counting to three. He says "got it" at the same time that she says "three," and then the room is filled with an eerie silence.

The guard narrows his eyes at the three of them, scratching at the metal shield-thing on his shoulder. Rory thinks he still looks strangely nervous for a giant, ominous guard.

"We're in here!" Amy shouts with a bright look on her face. Rory takes the cue and starts shouting as if they're being rescued. He hears the Doctor's distinct instruction to the non-existent rescuer, "Hide around the corner!" and he repeats it himself, Amy doing the same after a moment.

The guard makes a terrifyingly loud noise, and Rory's heart pounds in his chest in apprehension, but the guard charges for the door instead of toward them.

There's a snap as Amy's bonds come loose, and she reaches into her pocket for the sonic screwdriver, handing it over to the Doctor quickly. The Doctor holds it awkwardly in front of him, sticking his tongue out as he struggles to change the setting while still in cuffs, but then he's pointing it at Rory and the metal slides loose. Another second and the same happens to the bonds on his feet.

The pounding of the guard's feet sounds like it's coming back, so Rory jumps to his feet as quickly as possible.

"Here," the Doctor says, "get my hands." Rory doesn't realize that he's talking to him until the sonic is soaring through the air toward him, and because of that, it falls to the ground with a loud clang. Rory counts his blessings that the guard is deaf, but he's definitely coming back toward them, so he hurries to pick it up and free the Doctor.

Amy is somehow free on her own, and she rolls her eyes as if they're taking too long and grabs each of their hands, pulling them behind her into the hallway.

The guard sees them instantly, tipping them off with his loud shout. Rory thinks they're probably in the clear so long as they run, but then the guard hits a panel on the wall and the floor shakes violently beneath them.

"Alarm system," Amy says.

"Shouldn't we run?" Rory asks, but the Doctor is just facing the guard with his typical smug smile.

"Now, now. Nobody panic. You, you're a Faleoci, correct?" he asks the guard. "An esteemed race, I always thought. 'Gentle giants,' you were called. Beautiful singing voices."

Rory shoots a disbelieving look at Amy, who shrugs. Rory supposes weirder things have turned out to be true.

The guard shifts on his feet, scratching at his shoulder again.

"And I'm guessing those panels aren't just for decoration?" the Doctor adds, pointing at his shoulder.

"Doctor," Amy says in a nervous voice as the pounding sound of Faleoci feet gets louder.

"Rory, if you please," the Doctor says, holding his hand out. Rory hands over the sonic, hoping like hell the Doctor already has a plan.

The Doctor points the sonic and Rory relies on its strange power like a lifeline as another Faleoci rounds the corner at the end of the hallway.

The metal shield on the guard's shoulder dents a bit, and the Doctor moves closer and gives it more attention. Rory can only stare in amazement when the guard doesn't even make a move toward him. The other guard stops when it catches up to them, choosing to watch rather than attack.

Amy grabs Rory's wrist and pulls him closer as they wait, unable to tell exactly what's going on.

"I can get it loose, but you've got to kneel down to my level," the Doctor says, enunciating his words. The guard does what he says, and within seconds the metal piece slides out, making the creature howl in pain.

Amy's grip tightens and Rory is sure they're about to be in worse danger, but the look of pain fades off the creatures face and then he... smiles.

"What?" Rory says, dumbfounded.

"Thank you," the guard says to the Doctor is this melodic voice. Rory is sure the dumbstruck look on Amy's face is mirrored on his own.

"You too, come on," the Doctor says to the other one. After quick work and another loud howl, he is free as well, and the two Faleoci start talking to each other in excited tones.

"Now let's go and save the planet," the Doctor declares. Rory can almost imagine a swell of music backing him up as he says it, but then he turns to Amy and waggles his eyebrows, and the effect is lost with their laughter.


"So their ears are in their shoulders?" Rory repeats later, after the chaos has died down. Well, as much as it can with the Doctor.

"Their ears are their shoulders," the Doctor clarifies, "or their shoulders are their ears."

"But how does that work? From a biological standpoint--"

"From a biological standpoint," Amy interrupts, "they're different. And unless you want to go back and dissect one, I suggest we get off to bed."

She levels him with a suggestive look, as if he didn't get the implication, and he lets the subject drop for now. Perhaps he can discuss it with the Doctor later.

"And how did you get free, then?" he asks, still curious.

She reaches into her hair and slides out a small piece of metal. "Bobby pin," she says with a smile.

"So much for exquisite Jsundan craftsmanship," Rory says, but the Doctor just shakes his head fondly at him while Amy guides him away toward their room.

In the privacy of their bedroom, Amy is usually quick to it. Back in their room, shut the door, get to work. Or even more likely, back in their room and on the bed, leaving Rory to shut the door.

But tonight she takes her time, savoring each kiss and touch. Rory loves this side of her when it arises, though it always goes one of two ways. Either she wants him to take the lead, or she wants to draw him out and loosen him up before springing something on him. Either way it always ends in a fantastic shag, but the buildup often fills him with a mix of excitement and apprehension.

She undresses him slowly, leaving long, lingering kisses all over his body, and somewhere in the back of his mind he acknowledges that she's going with the second type. Finally, she dispenses with the teasing, tongue sliding in and out of his mouth in rhythm with the slide of her hand over his cock.

Just as Rory starts to lose himself in it, though, she pulls back and slows the movement of her hand.

"Today was good," she says, reaching up to trace his lips with her fingers.

"Yeah," he agrees, not knowing where this is going but not particularly caring. That sentiment doubles when Amy takes advantage of his open mouth and slips two fingers inside. He curls his tongue around them, watching as she licks her lips and stares at his mouth.

She removes her fingers and reaches into the drawer for the tube of KY, looking to Rory for permission. When he gives it, heart racing, she wastes no time slicking up her fingers and pressing the first one in.

Rory hisses at the sensation, but Amy takes her time and waits for his nod before adding a second finger. He can't help screaming, "oh god," when her fingers slide in at just the right angle, making him see stars. She smirks and starts fucking her fingers in and out of him, enjoying watching him squirm.

"Do you remember...," Amy begins, and Rory mentally braces himself, "sitting tied up in the dungeon? The Doctor told you some things he loves about you."

"Now hardly seems the time to bring that up!" Rory says, his voice an embarrassing pitch.

"But you did that thing," she says, twisting her fingers again and making Rory arch his back. He wishes she would touch him, but knows that she won't until she gets to her point. "The same thing you did before we started dating. Where you would blush, duck your head, then change the subject."

"And?" he says, urging her to get to the point.

"And I just thought it might mean something," she says innocently, though Rory isn't remotely fooled.

He feels instantly flustered, but he manages to grit his teeth and say, "It doesn't."

"Okay," she says, and lets it go just like that. She pulls back her fingers and Rory makes an almost-involuntary whining noise, but then she slicks him up and shifts onto her back, letting him take control.

He feels a bit strung out as he fucks her, and he doesn't last very long, but he's sure to make it count for her even after he comes, and she seems to appreciate it.

Amy says goodnight and kisses him sweetly before turning out the light, but Rory doesn't fall asleep right away. The implications of Amy's question sink in further, and he's grateful that she's not awake to see his blush. He shakes his head and rolls over to wrap his arm around her and go to sleep, hoping a good night's rest will help him clear his head.


Unfortunately, one night's sleep doesn't drive the thought from his head, and Rory spends the next several days blushing and bumbling like an idiot every time the Doctor touches him or favors him or gives him certain looks. Luckily Amy doesn't seem to catch on, because she hasn't brought it up again even though it's been nearly a week.

A shagless week, not to mention, because of course Amy's got her time of the month at the same time as his... whatever-this-is. His maybe-fancying-the-Doctor. Maybe if he were getting shagged he would have gotten over this by now.

Not that he blames Amy for that part, obviously. He’s the one that’s squeamish about the whole ordeal, and it’s not exactly a cakewalk for her in general. He does his best to keep her in mind whenever they're running through the Neverending Plains of Whats-it or the Mountains of Hope-You-Wore-Your-Trainers, knowing that it can't be easy.

He had tried privately consulting the Doctor about any sort of futuristic, space-age medicine that would make her more comfortable, but when he'd asked, the Doctor had only looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Come to think of it, that would probably be easier for the Doctor to handle.

After a long day of worrying about Amy (though she's probably fine by now, he just can't help it) and stressing out about sneaking quietly through a building so as not to awaken the deadly guards (who turned out to be dead anyway), Rory's feeling irritable and exhausted. And then the Doctor makes some off-hand comment about the guards being dead for hours, and something in Rory snaps.

"Hang on," Rory says. "You knew they were dead?"

"Of course."

"The whole time?" he asks incredulously. The Doctor nods. "Well why didn't you say anything?"

"You two were already sneaking along, and I saw no harm in taking precautions."

Rory's nostrils flare. "This isn't the first time you've done this. On Jsunda, you knew the guards were deaf. You could have said, when he caught you."

"Perhaps, but where would be the fun in that?" the Doctor says, sharing a smile with Amy. "Besides, it's good for you to figure things out on your own once in a while."

"What, like little tests?" Rory accuses, feeling insulted.

"Rory," Amy says in a warning tone. Rory doesn't appreciate her taking sides when it's not his side she's on.

The Doctor waves her off, though, and focuses on Rory. "The two of you are extraordinary. I don't let just anyone travel with me, you know. Only the best. And when it coming to facing new challenges, solving new puzzles, sometimes I know, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I work it out, and sometimes I need some guidance."

"And sometimes you wait for us to catch up, like slow children!"

"Sometimes I'm thinking about other things!" he says, hands going and his hair looking more wild the more emphatic he gets. "I'm clever, but I don't always have the answer."

"But if you already have the answer and you purposefully don't tell us, how is that not a test?" He knows that he's frustrating the Doctor, but he's frustrated too.

"I would never keep something from you if it would cause you any harm," the Doctor says, tone soft. It's a redirect, not even remotely answering the question, but Rory's tired. Tired of arguing, tired of everything. He just wants to go to bed.

"Sure, fine," he says, and he walks away. He tries not to feel disappointed when nobody follows him or calls him back.

A few minutes later, Amy joins him in their bedroom. She doesn't say anything at first, but Rory doesn't expect her to.

"I think it makes him happy," she says quietly in the dark, before Rory has fallen asleep. "When he sees us succeed, it makes him feel good."

Maybe there's some truth in that, but right now, Rory can't see it. All he can think is how ridiculous he must have looked tiptoeing through rooms filled with glass walls, trying to keep quiet for no reason. And the Doctor knew it the whole time.

He makes a noncommittal noise in response, and Amy doesn't say anything more. He's still so exhausted, but sleep doesn't come easy.


About five minutes after waking up the next morning, Rory knows it's going to be a bad day. He wakes up in a cold sweat, turned on and trying unsuccessfully to remember the dream he was just having. He's still exhausted and Amy's nowhere to be found, so he goes to the bathroom and wills his erection to go away.

He stubs his toe on the way there, which accomplishes that last goal. As he's getting dressed, he remembers his argument with the Doctor, and finds that his anger hasn't diminished overnight. The only clean socks he can find are mismatched, and then to top it all off, he trips and nearly falls on his face as soon as he comes into view of Amy and the Doctor, who have apparently been waiting for him.

Amy laughs as she helps him up, but then she kisses him good morning and circles an arm around him. Rory thinks maybe he can salvage the day.

"Where are we off to?" he asks Amy, but it's the Doctor who answers.

"Back to Jsunda," he says, excited smile stretching over his face. "The other side this time, though. Some of my favorite wildlife lives on Jsunda, and I've been thinking how much I'd love to see it."

They land on the other side of the planet only a few hours after they left it, but it seems a completely different world. Rory supposes the Farsowians' reach only extended so far, because this land is flourishing with creatures of all shapes and sizes.

As they wander through the forest, Rory marvels at the beauty of all the different types of creatures. They don't seem to be disturbed by the three visitors, and some of them even approach them.

At one point, as they walk, Rory makes a snide comment to Amy about the Doctor probably knowing something absurd, like that the trees are alive, and just waiting for the two of them to catch on. Amy punches him hard in the shoulder at that, so he doesn't make any more comments.

Just their luck, though, they soon stumble into the home of a pack of wild somethings, and then they're off again, running through the forest. Rory's really getting tired of the running. He remembers his prediction about the badness of the day, and curses his past self for being right. At least most of the time they're running, they're accomplishing something or about to in the future. This time, though, they were just daft. Rory wonders with a twinge if the Doctor suspected this would happen and let them do it anyway.

They run along for a while, and Rory's starting to think they must be in the clear by now when suddenly something grabs his wrist and he's pulled into the bushes.

Before he can react, there's a hand over his mouth and a voice saying, "Don't shout. We don't have much time."

Rory can't believe it. It's... himself. "The Doctor exaggerated," Rory says as soon as he's allowed to speak. "My nose doesn't look that bad from the side."

His other self rolls his eyes. "Listen, you can't trust the Doctor."

"What?" Rory narrows his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Just trust me. You need to get Amy and get away as soon as you can."

"Hold on. How could you come back to tell me this if you're not with the Doctor?"

"There's no time for that now! Just you and Amy, away from the Doctor, ASAP."

Rory opens his mouth to ask again, why? But then there's a rustling and his future self ducks away in the other direction.

Amy appears then, grabbing him by the shirtfront and pulling him along. "This is no time for dawdling!" she reprimands.

"But..." Rory looks behind him, but the other version of himself is long gone.

His mind is still racing when they reach the TARDIS, but he doesn't say anything right away.

The Doctor eventually says they should be fine to go outside in a few minutes, "Terrible memories they've got," so Amy goes to the wardrobe to change shirts.

"So, Doctor?" Rory asks, waiting to get his attention. The Doctor keeps messing with the console of the TARDIS, but he glances up at Rory briefly to show he's listening. "I, um, saw myself today."

"Did you now? That's nice. How did you look?" he asks, moving to mess about with some wires along the wall.

"No, I mean, I saw myself. From the future. Well, more like bumped into him. Me."

"You can't have done. Two versions of one person can't exist in the same place at the same time. There would be consequences."

Rory crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at the Doctor's back. "But what about you? There were two versions of you in the museum."

"Occasionally, not very likely but occasionally, there are exceptions."

Rory really wishes the Doctor would just acknowledge him. "Maybe this was an exception."

"I doubt it. Here, hold this for me, would you?" the Doctor says, facing Rory for only a brief moment to hand him some unknown contraption and then turn back to his work.

Rory stares at the Doctor's back, frustrated and fuming. He may not know much about the universe, but he knows what he saw. And for the Doctor to completely dismiss him, it's the highest insult.

Amy startles him by sneaking up behind and wrapping her arms around his waist. She catches him at the worst possible moment and all he can think is that he needs some air. "Hold this," he tells her, shoving the device into her hands before stalking off.

He can hear the Doctor's happy exclamation of "Amy!" as he grabs his coat, followed by her response of, "What crawled up his arse?" He wishes he didn't care so much about the TARDIS, or he'd slam the door on his way out.

He shoves his hands in his pockets once he's outside, begrudgingly acknowledging that he shouldn't wander too far off on his own. He contemplates what his future self said, and even in his anger, it still sounds a bit absurd. But he'd been so insistent, and maybe this was just the tip of the iceberg.

He walks in and out of clearings, mindful of which direction he's going, until finally he decides to stop and rest for a moment. All his fuming is starting to tire him out, or maybe that's the running finally catching him up.

While he's sitting on the log, feeling sorry for himself, he's surprised to hear a somewhat-familiar squeak. He looks toward the treeline and sure enough, it's one of the pachmunks.

"Oh, hello," Rory says, reaching out to it. "What are you doing here? We dropped you off on the other side of the planet only a few hours ago."

"There are teleportation zones all over the planet," Amy says, coming into the clearing. "Clearly marked so people won't stumble in, but animals wander into them all the time."

Rory shoots her a disbelieving look. "And how do you know that?"

"The Doctor was just telling me about it," she says, joining him on the log.

"Can you believe him?" Rory asks, still riled up. He doubts she'll take his side, but hopes she'll let him rant just the same. "He didn't even listen to me, just shoved off messing with the TARDIS!"

"Forget the Doctor," Amy says, placing her hand on his knee. She leans in with this odd, determined look, but Rory just isn't in the mood.

"Let's go for a walk," he suggests instead, standing and offering her his hand. She begrudgingly takes it and, to his surprise, doesn't give him a hard time for going off without the Doctor.

Amy stays close and they walk on, Rory silently fuming, until he can't take it anymore. "I know you're probably not going to take my side, but can't you just hear me out on this one?"

"What kind of wife would I be if I didn't?"

Rory gives her a look at her use of the term, because clearly she's making fun of him, but he trudges on anyway.

"You know as well as I do that it's tough enough trying to keep up with the Doctor. No matter where we go or what we do or who we accidentally insult, he's always got the solution. Does that not bother you?"

Amy shrugs noncommittally.

"And then the rare times that we do have a chance to pitch in, it turns out he already knew! I mean, how many times has he just been having us on?"

"But what would it be like if he didn't?" Amy asks, sounding bored.


"If he just told you all the answers. Wouldn't that be boring?"

Rory hadn't thought of it that way. "I suppose so. But why even have us along if he doesn't need us?" He regrets his words instantly, bracing himself for Amy's reaction. But she just shrugs again, and something starts to niggle at the back of Rory's mind.

"I suppose we do help at times," he amends after a moment of walking on silently, rethinking his argument. "And he's not always there, the Doctor. Like right now, if we were attacked (knock on wood), we'd need to be able to defend ourselves. Maybe he just wants to know that we can handle ourselves."

He feels a bit foolish now, thinking back on their argument. He still thinks the Doctor should speak up if there's something they're obviously missing, but he realizes more now about the Doctor's intentions. He cringes to think that the Doctor might have thought Rory was telling him he should always have the answer.

"Well, now that you've figured that out, let's get on with the snogging."

Now that sounds more like Amy, but that fact brings that niggling thought to the front of his mind.

He pulls back from her, saying, "Would you sod off with the kissing? Can't we just talk for five minutes?"

"I'm your wife! Why would you not want to kiss your wife?"

At that exclamation, Rory is positive that she isn't his wife, but she pushes him hard against a tree and plants one on him before he can do anything.

He pushes her back roughly and spits on the ground. "Who are you?" he demands to know. "Because you're not Amy and you do not belong in that body."

She backs up a step, looking frightened. "Rory, it's me."

Rory matches her, step for step. "Amy would never have let me suggest that we shouldn't be with the Doctor."

She sneers then, looking suddenly so unlike Amy that it floors him. "Why are you so attached to that man anyway? He doesn't even care about you!"

"Oh, but he does," Rory says with conviction, and almost like they're in a novel and Rory has summoned him, there's an obnoxiously loud rustling and the Doctor appears, running toward them.

The fake Amy backs up further, staring in horror at the Doctor, and then takes off running the opposite direction.

"Rory! Thank goodness it's you," the Doctor says, and honestly he's looked better. He's pale and very winded, which is weird, and Rory's about to run away from him but somehow he knows this is the real Doctor. "Wait, is it you? How many years did you guard the Pandorica?"

"One thousand eight hundred ninety four," Rory answers dutifully.

"Fantastic. Ask me something only I would know."

"What's the square root of 973?"


"Alright, it's you."

"Technically I'm not the only one who would know that," the Doctor points out, but Rory talks over him.

"What's going on? Where's Amy?"

"She's back in the TARDIS. She's fine. Are you all right?"

Rory was about to ask the Doctor the same question; obviously Rory's fine, he doesn't look like death.

The Doctor apparently figures out as much, because he continues without a response from Rory. "There was this creature, a shapeshifter. Looked like you."

He's still breathing heavily, which is enough out of the ordinary that Rory has to ask, "Did he attack you? Can I help?"

"We need to get you back to the TARDIS," the Doctor says, ignoring Rory's questions. "Amy's resting, but she needs you to give her the antidote."

Before the word 'antidote' is completely out of the Doctor's mouth, Rory starts heading back the way the Doctor came, not caring that at some point he's lost his way. "She's been poisoned? Why couldn't you give it to her? I thought you said she was fine."

"The shapeshifters' kisses are like poison. Yror got to her before I could warn her. But she's fine now, I was able to take away most of the damage."

"Ee-roar?" Rory repeats, blindly forging on through the forest and letting the Doctor push him along when he goes the wrong way.

"No not ee-roar. Yror. Rory backwards." He giggles to himself as if he's just been very clever, and Rory just rolls his eyes.

"Their kisses can't be deadly, though. The other Amy forced herself on me before I ran off."

The Doctor nods, nudging Rory to the left a bit. "It doesn't work by force. You've got to... want it." He pauses there, and Rory is sure there's something else he's about to say, but he never does.

"Great, well. Nice to know some shapeshifter was seducing my wife while I was away."

"Yes, but you resisted Yma's seduction! I'm impressed."

"She wasn't Amy," Rory says, because it was obvious once he stopped obsessing over the Doctor. But he feels a bit lighter, especially when he sees the tiny proud smile on the Doctor's face. "You still haven't told me why you couldn't give Amy the antidote."

"Oh, it's simple. The poison was in the false kiss. So all she needs to get better is the same kiss, but genuine."

Rory likes the sound of that. He actually kind of gets to be the hero this time.

They reach the TARDIS, and Rory heads straight back to their bedroom. When Amy sees him, she sits up and pulls her covers instinctively toward herself, and Rory's stomach plummets.

"It's me," he says, staying back.

She narrows her eyes and purses her lips. "Who was my first kiss?"

"Jeff Angelo," Rory answers, resigned.

She visibly relaxes, and Rory can tell she's completely worn out. He comes closer to the bed, and she gives him the shy little smile he almost never sees anymore, the one he used to love to get when they were kids.

"This is a regular Sleeping Beauty situation, isn't it?" Rory says, returning her smile.

"Except I'm awake, so don't try anything. I can shout for help," she retorts, smirking.

Rory laughs and leans in to kiss her. She meets him halfway and kisses him softly.

"Sorry to interrupt," the Doctor interrupts, "but you should probably know." He pauses to wait for them to pull apart, which Rory reluctantly does. "For this to work, she's got to... want it... as much as she did the first time. Which is going to be twice as hard now that she's feeling like death."

"How far did you go with this bloke!?" Rory demands, staring at Amy.

"Don't look at me like that! I thought he was you!" She shoots the Doctor a look, and Rory doesn't know if it's for support or to see whose side he's on, but the Doctor doesn't respond to it. Mostly he just looks like death himself.

"Wait," Rory says, and his head is suddenly spinning as it all starts to sink in but, "I've got an idea."

"I'll just leave you two to it, then," the Doctor says.

"Wait!" Rory shouts after him. He looks back at Amy for confirmation, but she just looks confused. Still, looking at her, he gets the courage to make his next move.

He stands up and approaches the Doctor, but he speaks to Amy. "Amy, did the Doctor say anything to you when the shapeshifter attacked?"

"Yes," she answers. "He grabbed me 'round the middle and shouted something like, 'Amy, no! He's not the real Rory and his kisses are deadly!'"

Rory nods. He was hoping it was something like that. "See, you always fool us," he begins, speaking to the Doctor now. "You know so much about alien races and their planets and how they attack, we always just assume you already know. But you don't always, and I don't think you knew this time." The Doctor looks back at him, expression schooled into one of casual interest, but his eyes betray him by widening. "I think you let Yror kiss you."

Amy gasps behind him, and Rory glances back at her. "He did! I remember he shouted 'I thought I already took care of you' before I passed out."

When Rory looks back at the Doctor, he's holding his hands up in a defensive position. "Look, it doesn't work the same with me. I have a different physiology--"

"Then why do you look like you've been steamrolled and then fluffed back up? No," he insists as the Doctor starts to protest, "we know how it works. A true kiss to make up for the false one."

"Whoa," the Doctor says as Rory steps closer, "stop this right now. How do I know you're not Yror?"

"How do I know you're not Rotcod?"

"Because I'm not trying to kiss you!" He sounds slightly hysterical, and Rory doubts his plan of action once again. "And I'm fine! Look at me, I'm fine. It's not going to kill me."

"But it hurts," Amy interjects from the bed.

"What?" the Doctor says, sidetracked.

"It hurts. Don't tell me it doesn't, I can feel it too."

"Right! And you were clutching your side earlier." Rory spares a second to worry about Amy, but if the Doctor will just cooperate, he can get to her sooner.

The Doctor protests again, and Rory momentarily doubts himself, but he remembers the Doctor's words. They wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't wanted it at least a little bit. The Doctor backs up half a step, and Rory grabs the lapels of his jacket to keep him from going anywhere.

"You don't have to do this," the Doctor says one more time.

Rory studies the Doctor's face, his worried and ancient eyes, and then his gaze falls on the Doctor's mouth, and he has only one thought. "I want to."

"Oh, just kiss him already!" Amy shouts, so Rory does.

The Doctor flails a bit after being pulled forward, but Rory ignores him and focuses on making it a worthwhile kiss. This may be his only chance, after all.

After a few moments, the Doctor is still nonresponsive, so Rory pushes forward and bit and runs his tongue along the Doctor's lower lip, letting go of his jacket with one hand and moving it to the back of the Doctor's neck. The Doctor gives a great shudder and his lips part slightly. Rory smiles a bit and takes the invitation, sliding his tongue forward to explore the Doctor's mouth.

The Doctor's flailing gets worse after that, one hand a slight pressure on Rory's shoulder as if he's thinking of pushing him away, and the other possessive over Rory's hip as if to pull him closer. Still no proper kissing though, which frustrates Rory.

Rory lets go of the jacket entirely to move his hand to the Doctor's back, pulling their bodies closer. The Doctor utters a soft, "mm," tongue curling against Rory's, and for a moment, it's perfect. Then Rory has to go and moan into the kiss, and the Doctor takes a giant step back as if he's been brought to his senses.

His gaze darts around the room, skittish, and Rory is at least grateful to see that there's plenty of color back in his cheeks. Mission accomplished, he supposes. It was nice while it lasted.

There is a brief moment when the Doctor's gaze stills somewhere close to Rory's left, and Rory thinks he's going to say something, but then Amy appears in his peripheral and before he can think anything, she's pulling his face to hers and kissing him breathless.

Her tongue licks inside his mouth thoroughly, trying to salvage every taste of the Doctor. Rory can't find it in himself to mind, though, and a thrill shoots up his spine as she shifts her weight and then wraps her legs around his back, trusting him to hold her up. She shudders all over as he guides the two of them back toward the bed, going still for just a moment.

Rory presses his advantage in that moment to push her onto the bed and crawl on top of her, kissing her feverishly all the time. Amy comes back to herself and brings their bodies flush against each other with a beautiful moan, and Rory blushes to think of the Doctor watching them.

Unable to stop thinking about it once the Doctor pops into his head, Rory pulls back to see the expression on the Doctor's face. He tries not to feel disappointed when he discovers the Doctor is no longer there. He half-expected it; he shouldn't feel so bad to find he was right.

"Doctor!" Amy calls, obviously thinking along the same lines. She continues to push their hips together though, luckily as caught up in this as Rory is. Rory joins her in calling for the Doctor, but he doesn't come back. Rory wonders if his leaving the door open when he left means anything.

Rory knows the moment Amy gives up on getting him back, because she pulls his zipper down and gives him her full attention. After that, Rory doesn't feel disappointed for a while.


Rory stirs awake to find Amy lightly tracing patterns on his stomach with her nails. He tries to pretend it doesn't tickle.

"So," he pauses to yawn, "that was quite nice, yeah?" He watches her hand, seeing if he can't figure out what she's drawing.

"Yeah," she agrees, a twist to her mouth that Rory cannot resist kissing.

"Feeling better now, I hope?" Rory asks, feeling a bit proud of himself.

The feeling grows when Amy smiles wickedly and says, "One hell of an antidote."

Her hand stills on his chest when she leans down to kiss him again, and he reaches to take it in his own.

"But you know," she begins, pulling back, "you broke our rule."

Rory feels automatically guilty for a moment, not sure what he's done wrong, muttering an apology by default. "I'm sorry, whatever it was--hang on," he says, catching on as an evil smile spreads over Amy's face. "That rule was about you; it was nothing to do with me."

"Well that hardly seems fair," she says with a pout. "Am I to sit back and watch every time you snog the Doctor?"

"You didn't seem to mind too much this time," Rory points out. When she smacks him round the shoulder, he's not surprised, but he still rubs the spot with a wince.

"Okay," Rory admits, "that may have been a bit hypocritical."

Amy nods. "Go on."

"I may have been a bit jealous." Amy looks pleased, so he keeps going. "I'm beginning to think we should rework the terms of our arrangement."

"I knew it!" she exclaims triumphantly. "I knew you fancied the Doctor."

"Oi, would you mind keeping your voice down?" he says, eyeing the still-open door. "It's bad enough that kissing me made him run away."

"Oh please." Amy rolls her eyes. "You got way more of a response than I did. He didn't give me more than a few seconds before he was jumping over the bed to get away from me. It doesn't mean he doesn't want it," she says, murmuring the last bit right against his ear.

Rory blushes and fidgets despite his best efforts not to. "Are you sure?"

She nods. "You should have seen the look on his face. You know what this means, then?"

Rory nods, then stops, then shakes his head.

"It means you have to be the one to convince him." Rory begins to protest but Amy just talks over him. "He won't listen to me, and he thinks you just kissed him to make me happy and because he was sick. You have to let him know what we really want."

"And what's that?"

"Rory," she says, annoyed.

"We already have one of those." That earns him another smack, but it was worth it. "I just want to make sure we're on the same page here."

"We want the Doctor. That's all."

Rory agrees with her, but he has to ask, "Not just casual sex, though, right? You know I can't handle casual sex. I'm always afraid I'll feel too much and then it'll ruin everything."

She rolls her eyes again. "Do you really think the Doctor would be capable of casual sex? Besides, look at everything we've been through together." She stares down at the mattress and quietly adds, "We already feel too much."

Rory thinks of the way the Doctor looked at him in the Farsowians' dungeon and swallows roughly. Amy was as right then as she is now. Definitely already feeling too much.


"Right, everyone good as new?" the Doctor asks when they emerge from their room the next day. "Great. I was thinking maybe back to Earth for a bit, escape the unexpected customs and revel in some... familiarity."

The Doctor lands them back in Leadworth only a week after their departure - presumably just coming back from their honeymoon. "Say hello to your families, friends. Have a nice, normal day," the Doctor tells them. Amy is clearly not happy with this plan, and Rory tries not to resent him for it.

"He's just trying to push us away," she says later, after they've said their general hellos and they're inside her house. "He felt something for you and that scared him, so now he's trying to distance himself from us."

Rory can remember a time when Amy believed the Doctor wasn't scared of anything.

"Have you ever known the Doctor to run away from anything?" Amy asks.

"Um, only all the time? When's the last time we didn't have to run away from some maniac hell-bent on killing us in one creative way or another?"

"No, but in the end, he never backs down from a fight. Trust me. The only time he runs, actually runs, is when his emotions are too involved."

Rory forgets sometimes that there are stretches of time that Amy had with the Doctor that he didn't get to share. At one time, the thought would have made him angry, but now it just reminds him how lucky he is that things have changed.

Then a thought occurs to Rory. "You don't think...?"

Amy's eyes widen as he says it, as if she's just had the same thought. "He wouldn't."

"Not after all this," Rory says, but he's starting to get a sinking feeling.

They both jump up from Amy's bed and head for the door, sprinting around the block to where the Doctor had parked the TARDIS. Rory breathes a sigh of relief when they see it, still sitting nondescript in the corner of the street, and he shares a look with Amy that causes them both to laugh at themselves.

He takes her hand as they go back inside the blue box, ready to get back to adventuring with the Doctor.

"Back already?" the Doctor asks, looking as if he's surprised to see them. He checks his watch and taps it a couple of times. "But you barely even had time for tea."

"There's nothing left for us in Leadworth," Amy declares, and Rory nods his agreement. "Our place is here with you."

The Doctor ducks his head, but that may be because he's concentrating on the console before him. "You should at least go have yourselves a nice dinner, free of the usual excitement," he insists.

Amy squeezes Rory's hand and gives him a significant look. "Only if you come with us," Rory tries, annoyed at the way his voice goes up at the end, making it more of a question.

"Oh, I really can't. Quite a bit of work to do on the TARDIS, you see. You two go on; I'm not going anywhere."

"Doctor," Rory protests, trying to sound more confident this time.

But before he can get to his argument, there are three concise knocks from behind him. Rory twists around to look at the door, which shakes a bit when there are three more knocks.

Rory looks to the Doctor and asks, "Should I--?"

"Yes, go," the Doctor whispers, waving him on.

Rory hurries to the door as the third set of knocks echo through the TARDIS, pulling it open and sticking his head outside.

"Yes, how may I--Jeff?"


"Hullo," Rory greets him, trying his friendliest smile.

"I didn't know--that is, I thought--." Jeff stops, shaking his head to clear it. He rubs the back of his neck as if he feels ridiculous, then asks, "Is the Doctor in there?"

"Hello!" the Doctor says, suddenly right behind Rory with his hand on his back, pushing the door open more and leaning out to face Jeff.

"Doctor!" Jeff says, looking relieved. "I um. Could I have a word?"

"Sure!" He pats Rory on the back before slipping out the door and shutting it.

Rory stares at the door, closed just in front of his face, and tries not to feel offended.

"What just happened?" Amy asks.

"I have no idea."


Rory and Amy spend their entire dinner complaining about the Doctor running off with Jeff. As dates go, it's far from their best.

Amy puts down her glass with a thump. "And if he was so busy that he couldn't come to dinner with us, how come he took off with Jeff in such a hurry?"

"He always liked Jeff better than me," Rory mutters, glaring at the tabletop.

Amy's indignant expression fades, and she regards Rory softly. "Oh, Rory." She reaches out and takes his hand. "The Doctor loves you. He only calls Jeff 'the good-looking one' because there's nothing else remarkable about him."

Rory knows she doesn't really feel that way, but it cheers him up a bit just the same. He takes a sip of his drink to hide his smile.

"He's called you gorgeous before," Amy adds nonchalantly.

Rory splutters and nearly spits out his drink. "What?! When?" The other customers in the restaurant give him dirty looks for his outburst, and he waves at them in apology.

Amy giggles at having caught him off guard. "When we were in Wales, 2020. After... the Silurians. He..." she trails off, looking distant. To most people, she would just look like she'd zoned out, but Rory knows: she's remembering. He can understand; sometimes he gets flashes of memories once erased, things that should be impossible but for the fact he knows they're real. Usually all he has to do is look at the Doctor and know he's not mad, but the Doctor's not here, so he squeezes Amy's hand and gives her a reassuring smile.

"Sorry," she says, coming back to the present. "He wanted me to remember you. Gorgeous was one of the three words he chose. Three defining characteristics."

Rory feels a bit giddy at that, and is about to ask what the other two were, but the waiter interrupts then to ask if they'd like the check. After he's gone, Rory argues with Amy over who will pay the bill - she'll never just let him do it - until finally they agree to split it.

"What if the Doctor invites Jeff along with us?" Rory asks when the thought occurs to him, picking at a loose thread in the tablecloth.

"Ugh," Amy huffs. "Talk about a fourth wheel."

"I don't think that's how that phrase works," Rory points out, but Amy ignores him.

"We'll just have to deal with it, I suppose. We can hardly ask the Doctor not to bring him."

"Well, we could," Rory mumbles, half-hoping she won't hear him over the noise of the restaurant.

"Listen to you!" Amy exclaims, impressed. "Rory Williams, standing up for himself. You would really tell the Doctor not to invite Jeff?"

"We could always ask. Surely our opinion counts for something."

"And when he asks you why?"

Rory shrugs, unable to answer that easily. Wanting the Doctor all to themselves hardly seems like an arguable reason, especially if the Doctor does it to provide some emotional distance from the two of them.

Maybe the Doctor won't ask.


Rory and Amy are busy exploring the TARDIS - Amy is sure there's a swimming pool in here somewhere - when they hear the Doctor calling. Rory takes Amy's hand as they head back out, doing his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. He's had a day full of boredom and uncertainty, and he's not sure he's ready to face the Doctor and be kept at a distance.

"Good old Ponds!" the Doctor exclaims as soon as he sees them, crushing them both into a hug. Rory blushes a bit, caught completely off-guard, but he returns the hug. He tries to catch Amy's eye, but she's shut her eyes and is enjoying being enveloped by her boys. Rory thinks her smile must be contagious, because it's spreading onto his face as well.

"Now," the Doctor says, as if that's done. "Have a good dinner? Jeff's right outside. He wants to say hello before we leave. No, wait, that sounds a bit backwards. I suppose he'll want to also say goodbye before we leave."

"Right," Rory says, smiling ridiculously. Jeff's not coming along.

He and Amy step outside, where Jeff is waiting, looking so awkward that he makes Rory feel downright graceful.

"Hullo," Rory tries. Nothing like the old stand-by.

Jeff seems to be working up the nerve for something, and Rory cuts his eyes to shoot Amy a worried look just as Jeff lunges forward and pulls him into a sneak-attack hug. "Did you two get hug pollened or what?" Rory sputters, unsure what to make of this.

"Thank you," Jeff mumbles, relinquishing Rory from the hug just as he starts to pat Jeff awkwardly on the back.

"Thank you so much," Jeff emphasizes, hugging Amy now. The Doctor is outside now, watching them all with a fond smile.

"You're welcome," Amy responds, squeezing him tight.

"Did I miss something?" Rory asks, not expecting an answer.

The Doctor and Amy aren't giving anything away, but luckily Jeff takes pity on him and begins to explain. "For the past week, my phone has been ringing off the hook with job offers, praising me for something that I didn't even remember happening two weeks ago. And just when I was sure I was about to go mad, you brought the Doctor back."

"And now you're definitely mad," Rory concludes.

"He'll do that to you," Amy adds, eyeing the Doctor.

"You've changed my life," Jeff says. "All of you." Rory looks away before Jeff can make eye contact. He doesn't deserve the credit; he hasn't done anything.

"So..." Amy says, trying to break the awkward silence, "how have you been?"

In the end, they go for a stroll, catching up on old times and new times and times that arguably never existed. Jeff challenges them on everything, sure they're making something up, but half the fun of it is that they don't have to make anything up. The Doctor lets the three of them carry the conversation, but he still pipes in to tell the stories his way. Rory rolls his eyes every time he's interrupted, but secretly it makes him quite happy to share the storytelling.

Before Rory knows it, they're wandering in the dark, only a bare-bones streetlamp providing a bit of light for the walkway. As they head back to the TARDIS, Rory feels a bit sad to see Jeff go.

"I suppose this is goodbye, for now," Jeff says, staring at the ground.

Rory feels unbelievably guilty for what he said about Jeff at dinner. Growing up next to Jeff had always felt like a competition, even though Jeff had stopped treating it as one several years back. Now, things being what they are, Rory feels as if he's won, but he didn't mean to make Jeff lose.

"Oh, come here, you," Rory finally says, pulling Jeff into a hug.

As Jeff hugs him back, Rory ponders the irony. This morning, he never would have imagined that he'd be hugging Jeff Angelo twice in one day. Even at dinner, he kind of wanted to punch the guy in his face. Still, he's happy to be wrong this time.

He watches with pride as Jeff gives the Doctor a solemn handshake, then Amy a platonic hug. They've come so far since Prisoner Zero; it's downright touching.

Rory's attention is caught when Jeff breaks away from the hug, but then leans in to say something else to Amy. He watches as she smiles widely and glances over at the Doctor. The Doctor clearly observes this as well, standing up straighter as she looks and narrowing his eyes a bit at Jeff.

Amy goes over to the Doctor then, slipping her arm around his waist and tilting her head onto his shoulder. Rory's heart aches a bit, looking at the pair of them.

"That goes for you too," Jeff says, approaching Rory once more. He gives Rory the look that Rory has always associated with getting beaten up and adds, "You treat him right."

"Jeff," the Doctor says in a warning tone.

"I know you will," Jeff adds quietly, patting Rory on the shoulder.

"I have no idea what's going on," Rory says to no one in particular. Which is fitting, because no one responds.


Rory and Amy stay up late that night (if there is such a thing, on a time machine), discussing the Doctor and Leadworth and what home really means to them now.

"Just needed a bit of a pep talk, Jeff did," the Doctor had told them once they were back on the TARDIS. "And a bit of training, of course. UNIT doesn't tolerate much of a learning curve."

And that was the thing about Jeff: he had a future waiting for him on Earth. But Rory is sure, his and Amy's future is with the Doctor.

Amy bites her lip until it's raw when they discuss the Doctor. She's always had trouble talking about her feelings, so Rory finds a game of checkers so that she can focus on something else while they chat.

"I understand that it's not forever, it's just..." she sighs. "Why pass up something good just because it eventually has to end?"

"He's how old?" Rory asks, jumping one of her red checkers with one of his black.

"He says 900-something, but I get the feeling it's more than that." She jumps him right back. Damn.

"And how many times do you think he's had his heart broken in all those years?"

She bites her lip again, so Rory ignores her bad move and sets a trap for himself instead.

"I'm just saying, his hesitance has to come from somewhere. He's not being contrary just to make us suffer."

Amy rolls her eyes. "I'm not the one who accused him of playing mind games with us oh, two days ago."

"I still need to apologize for that," Rory admits, staring down at his lap.

"Yes you do," she says, jumping two of his checkers. "King me."

They play three games total before turning the lights off to go to sleep. By the end of them, Rory feels like he's tried to pull his heart out through his throat, but he still smiles when Amy whispers, "I know you let me win," and then, "Thank you."


The next morning, Rory purposefully wakes up early so he can go talk to the Doctor alone. It's very awkward for the first few minutes, because the Doctor keeps trying to make small talk every time Rory starts to round the conversation over to his point.

"I've been meaning to apologize," he finally says, straight out.

"Apologize for what?" the Doctor says, smiling like he's oblivious.

"The things I said? About you having us on all the time?"

"Oh," the Doctor says, as if he's just remembered. "That's alright."

Rory's tempted to leave it at that, but if Amy were to find out, she'd murder him. "It's not, though. I was wrong."

"You weren't. You have a tendency to be very right about me at times, Rory." Rory doesn't know what to say to that, but luckily the Doctor keeps talking. "If you can try to be patient with me, I'll try to be more honest with you."

Rory can only stare at his sincere face for a moment, dumbstruck, before he finally manages, "Er, thank you."

"I was coming to apologize, on Jsunda," the Doctor says conversationally, busying himself with the controls. Rory is starting to suspect that the controls don't do anything except give the Doctor something to occupy himself with during conversations. "Amy helped me realize you may have thought I was dismissing what you told me. 'Rory doesn't like it when nobody believes him,' she said."

Rory shrugs. "Don't worry about it. It's in the past. I'm over it."

The Doctor makes an exasperated gesture and mumbles something about humans.

"You always call us human when we've done something you dislike," Rory accuses, crossing his arms.

"But don't you see? If you hadn't gotten emotional and stormed off so quickly we might have avoided the shapeshifters altogether! We might have kept out of this whole mess."

He mumbles the last bit half to himself, and Rory's stomach does some weird jump when he puts two and two together. "You mean kissing me. You still regret it, even though I gave you plenty of notice and, oh yeah, it was for your own good."

"If you hadn't been so... you, then maybe I wouldn't have let Yror kiss me in the first place!"

Silence falls strangely and the exclamation seems to echo around weird corners of the TARDIS in intervals. Rory can only stare at the Doctor's back for several moments as he tinkers with bits of the TARDIS panel, trying to discern if he might have misread the Doctor's meaning.

"Oh, sod it," he finally mumbles, twisting the Doctor around and planting one on him.

It's times like these that Rory wishes he were a better kisser. He's not bad, sure, but he's no Amy. It doesn't help that the Doctor is tense as a metal rod. Oh, and now he's trying to talk as well.

Rory's not having any of that, though. Amy wouldn't. He places his hands on the Doctor's hips and presses on quite literally. Either his assertiveness works or the Doctor wasn't up for much of a fight, because he relaxes then and starts kissing back. His hands rest on Rory's forearms, neither pushing or pulling.

"No, wait," the Doctor says, pulling back, and Rory sighs.

"You just essentially admitted that you wanted this," Rory argues, not moving away.

"That doesn't mean I think it's a good idea!"

"Well then let me convince you," Rory insists, leaning in again.

"But... Amy," the Doctor says, holding him back and looking around helplessly for a lifeline.

"Of course, you're right. AMY!" he shouts down the corridor, listening for her distant "Coming!" before turning back to the Doctor and focusing on the task at hand.

"Doctor. Look at me. You told me, before, that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want. The same goes for you. We can be patient." Well, he can anyway and if necessary, he can talk Amy through it.

The Doctor smiles at him, just a small, private smile, then reaches up to frame his face. "Rory Williams," he says, fondly exasperated, before leaning in to press their lips together.

Rory feels a sense of triumph as he tilts his head into the kiss. The Doctor has a strong attention to detail, and even though there's no urgency to the kiss, Rory can feel it thrumming through his body.

"Oh good! You've convinced him!" Amy says happily, joining them.

"Working on it, dear!" Rory says, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

"You two were planning this?" the Doctor asks, eyebrows pulling together.

Amy doesn't answer, though, just pushes her way in and gives the Doctor a kiss of her own. Unlike Rory, she doesn't let him set the pace, and Rory watches in fascination as the Doctor melts into it.

"You're ganging up on me," the Doctor accuses when they break for air.

"Yes," they agree simultaneously.

"But... why?" the Doctor asks, looking thoroughly disheveled and adorably confused.

"Because we want you," Amy says, turning to Rory for backup.

"Because we care about you," Rory adds. "Because we get the feeling..."

"...you feel the same about us too." Rory nods once in agreement.

The Doctor contemplates them for a few long moments. Rory doesn't realize he's holding his breath until he has to let it out in a rush. Amy gives him a look as if he's ruined the moment, and he gives her one right back that says to lighten up.

The Doctor laughs, then, and takes both of them by the hand. "How 'bout this? We take this thing slow," he looks at Amy as he emphasizes the word, "and see where we go from there?"

Rory nods, feeling giddy and light, but Amy says, "How slow?"


"What? We need to know! Don't want to make the Doctor uncomfortable," she emphasizes, recalling his word from the beach.

"Let's just stick with kissing, for now," the Doctor says, looking amused.

"You'll let us know if we've stepped out of bounds?" Rory asks.

"And when you're ready," Amy adds, looking expectant.

"Of course," the Doctor says.


Waiting on the Doctor, it turns out, is an exercise in patience. This shouldn't come as a surprise, but Rory didn't exactly expect the Doctor to be such an enthusiastic kisser and then... just walk away. Every time.

Little things start to grow in significance, though. Sappy little things like hand-holding and the Doctor putting his arms around them in what is basically a hug while they walk - which is weird, but they smile at each other about it and enjoy it, all the same. The Doctor almost always includes them in whatever plan he comes up with, and Rory never again feels like the Doctor views him as insignificant.

Their first surprise comes only a couple of weeks after their arrangement begins.

Amy is breathing heavily and looking at him through the curtain of her hair, both of them coming down from quite a nice romp in the sheets, when there's a knock.

"I thought we might sleep in the same bed tonight," the Doctor says from the doorway, completely ignoring the fact that they're naked. "If that's alright by you," he adds after a moment of their staring.

"Yeah!" Rory says at the same time as Amy's, "Please do."

"Lovely. Back in a mo'," he says, disappearing down the hallway.

Rory looks back at Amy, his heart still racing, and they both burst out laughing.

"We should probably get dressed," Rory says, embarrassment catching up with him post-haste.

"Why?" Amy says, stretching out over the bed. Rory takes his time enjoying the sight.

"Because this is one of those 'uncomfortable' moments," he says, but his voice doesn't have quite the conviction.

"Fine," Amy says, "but I'm not going to dress as if my aunt's coming over."

"You never dressed too modestly, even when Jeff's gran was coming over," Rory mumbles as he pulls his boxers back on.

Amy pulls the flimsiest lingerie Rory has ever seen in person out of a drawer and slips into it. "Why have you never worn that before?" he asks, accusing.

"Been saving it for a special occasion," she says, joining him on the bed with a kiss.

The Doctor shows up then, wearing the most laughably old-fashioned pajamas Rory could have imagined. And they do laugh, a lot.

"What? They're comfy!" the Doctor says, pulling on the hem of the shirt.

"Come here," Amy says through a laugh, and he does. Rory stares in appreciation as they snog, Amy first dominating the kiss and then letting the Doctor tilt her head back and take the lead.

Amy shoots him a sinful smile when they break apart, and only then does Rory realize he's staring with his mouth open. He snaps it shut, but too late, the Doctor's seen him too. He just smiles, though, and gives Rory the same treatment.

Kisses from the Doctor are never lazy. The Doctor engages him, pulling him close and urging a response out of him, laughing in triumph whenever he does. Rory goes with it, happy to let the Doctor lead their kiss, always feeling dazed and at least a little turned on when they break apart.

The Doctor smiles fondly after he ends the kiss, then stretches out in the middle of the bed and closes his eyes. Rory is quite glad he and Amy already had their moment together, or else he'd be in a strong need of a cold shower right about now. As it is, he shares a look of incredulity with Amy, before giving her one last lingering kiss, then turning out the light. He worries for a moment in the dark if he'll have trouble sleeping with two people in the bed, but the next thing he knows, it's morning.


The Doctor makes a habit of sharing their bed after that, but only showing up right before they're ready to turn out the light. It's unnerving at first, but endearing overall, and they slowly get used to it.

One day, they visit a moon in the Tribjan galaxy. The Doctor tells them the name, but Rory's fairly sure he doesn't know how to make that noise with his mouth, so it's just "Tribjan moon" to him.

"Wait til you see it," the Doctor says once the TARDIS is parked. "It's an overflow zone so there are more species than you could dream of. All sorts of foods and shows. It'll be great fun."

The first thing that they try to do, though, turns out to be a bust because they don't have any money. The Doctor carries on with a smile, though, and leads the way to a bank.

"The best thing about the -" and there's that name again, "-is that no matter the species, they're always overly fond of storytelling. Don't get too involved in a conversation with one, or you'll soon lose your day."

They walk up to the teller window, where the Doctor does some fancy talking with the psychic paper.

"Taking money from the bank, isn't that stealing?" Amy asks once the teller goes to the back to check his credentials.

The Doctor goes off rambling about the reasons it's not stealing, but Rory's attention is soon drawn elsewhere. Someone tugs on the hem of his shirt and says, "Excuse me, sir?"

Rory thinks it's a child at first, but in fact he's just a really short... Tribjan moon-ian. "Hullo," Rory says.

"Sorry to trouble you, sir, but you're quite tall and... that is, could you help me carry some things outside?"

Rory turns to the Doctor to ask if it's alright, but discovers that he and Amy both are already watching him. "Go on," the Doctor says, squeezing his shoulder affectionately.

"Alright," he tells the man, and then follows him back to the room with the safety deposit boxes.

"I'm Rory, by the way," he says, trying to be polite.

"Blonc. Nice to meet you Rory." Rory hopes Blonc is his name and not some local expression.

"Here we are," Blonc says, pointing at a stack of boxes. "Funny story about these," he begins but then there's a shout from the lobby.

Rory drops the boxes and sprints back immediately, coming back out just in time to see a man dressed all in mauve clothing bolting the door.

The Doctor and Amy are on the outside of the glass, staring at him and gesturing wildly.

"Back against the wall," the mauve guy demands, brandishing a weapon and snarling at Rory.

Rory holds his hands up and does what the mauve man says, glancing back at Amy and the Doctor. He's pretty sure the Doctor is saying we'll come back for you. He hopes so anyway, because then they turn around and run off.

Blonc wanders out then, looking bewildered. "Oi, Tiny!" mauve guy shouts. "Against the wall!"

"Blonc," Rory calls quietly, "over here!"

Blonc looks immensely relieved to see Rory, which is weird because he certainly hasn't done anything, but he runs over and cowers behind Rory all the same.

"Now," Mauve continues, addressing them all, "everyone just stay calm, don't do anything rash, and we'll all be out of here soon. They'll do a nice trade-off to get all of you out safe, and I'll be able to pay my bills."

Rory can't believe this. Unpronounceable moon in the Tribjan galaxy, thousands of years in the future, and he's a hostage in a bank robbery. He looks around, then curses his luck again. He's one of only five hostages, each a different species; it makes him feel a bit like he's on reality television.

"Mister Rory, what do we do?" Blonc whispers.

"Yeah," a female with three eyes responds, coming over. The other two - a creature of indeterminate gender with really long fingernails and a tall guy that Rory's pretty sure has wings - take her lead and join them. "What's the plan?"

The mauve guy gives them a shaky warning, but stands guard at the door instead of coming closer to investigate.

"I don't have a plan," he admits. He's not sure why they all came to him, either. "If we wait long enough, my... friend will come back. He'll save us."

Blonc cheers at that, and Rory shushes him quickly.

"How can you be sure your friend will come?" the winged guy asks, raising an eyebrow.

"He will. He always does." Rory pauses, taking a moment to appreciate the Doctor. "And anyway, if he doesn't have a plan, then my wife will."

They all perk up at that, prompting him for that story, and before he knows it, he's telling them all the story of the Doctor. He recounts all the initial details as if they're from a book he read - Amy's first meeting, Prisoner Zero, twelve years of waiting plus two - and when he pauses, they're all gathered around him in a circle as if it's a campfire tale.

Questions and comments fill up the silence as soon as he stops. "Poor girl," and "Did she really wait that long?" and "So where do you fit in to all this?"

He realizes, then, that he was telling them Amy's story instead of his own. But to him, it always has been Amy's story, at least in the beginning. He may never have known that the Doctor came back again... she might've disappeared forever that night, or traveled for years with the Doctor and then come back and married him the next day without a word, if the Doctor hadn't stepped in.

"Well, I was having my stag do, y'see..."

And then it all comes pouring out. Not just the story, but the ups and downs of his relationship with Amy, the 2000 years, the Doctor and everything that he means to Rory.

"...and then eventually we wound up here. I dunno, he tends to land us in danger more or less on a daily basis, but it's worth it. He's dead brilliant, completely crazy, and a fantastic kisser. He's the greatest man I've ever known."

Silence falls after that, and Rory blushes, paranoid suddenly that the Doctor's standing behind him. But instead, there's a great, loud sob and then someone exclaiming, "I just want someone to love me like that!"

Rory's eyes nearly bug out of his head. It's the mauve man, and he's dropped his weapon and heading for Rory. He pulls him into an awkward hug, trapping his arms at his sides and sobbing into his t-shirt.

"There, there," Rory says, not knowing what else to say.

"I only dressed like this because my boyfriend said it would look dangerous," he mumbles through his crying, and the other creatures make sympathetic noises as if they've been there.

"You do look a bit like a children's cartoon, mate," Rory confides gently.

"Right," the mauve man says, standing up straight and attempting to compose himself. "You can all go free; the gun doesn't even work."

He sounds miserable as he says it, though, and every single one of the hostages goes to give him a comforting pat on the back. Rory thinks this probably wouldn't be a bad place to live, really, if only he could pronounce it.

There's a huge crash from the back, and they all whirl around just in time to see the Doctor tumble in, brandishing a toaster and shouting, "Don't worry, Rory! We'll handle this!"

"What in the hell are you doing?" Rory asks in a level tone, shaking his head.

Someone has bunched up his shirt in the back, though, and is obviously shaking. He glances back to see the mauve man, scared out of his wits.

"Doctor, put it down, you're scaring him!" Rory says just as Amy catches him up, out of breath.

"Oh," the Doctor says, taking in the scene and then hiding the toaster behind his back.

"What have you done now?" Amy asks, for once aiming her disdain at someone other than Rory.

"It's okay, he's not going to hurt you. This is the Doctor," Rory explains.

Of course, that sets everyone off, wanting to introduce themselves and talk to the Doctor, and it takes a solid half hour before they finally get out and give the police (or whatever they are) the all-clear. Rory gives a witness report and, together with the others, the story gets the mauve guy more or less off the hook.

Blonc is exceedingly grateful for Rory's help (though Rory retains that he didn't do anything), so he uses his crates of money - for that's what the boxes contained, his lottery winnings - to treat the three of them to a night on the town. The Doctor was right, the life on this planet truly is amazing, once you get out of the bank and enjoy it.

Rory is half-drunk on Tribjan-moon ale when Blonc decides to recount Rory's story from the bank. Amy keeps giggling and moving closer on the bench, but Rory's eyes are on the Doctor, who is staring back intently. Rory's face feels like it's on fire as he hears his words repeated, but with that look focused on him, he really doesn't care, and anyway he can always blame it on the ale. Blonc just keeps trudging on, happy and oblivious, but Rory is counting down the minutes until they can go back and he can snog the Doctor properly.

And snog they do, after another round of drinks and a friendly farewell to Blonc. The TARDIS door has barely clicked shut before Rory is against the Doctor, pulling on his braces and bringing their mouths together.

The Doctor, usually so content to take his time, responds in earnest, tongue snaking into Rory's mouth hungrily. His hands rest on Rory's hips, warm fingers grazing skin where his t-shirt has rucked up.

Amy hums happily from behind him, and Rory gasps into the Doctor's mouth when she circles her arms around his waist, one hand teasing at the front of his waistband.

She starts pressing kisses to the back of his neck and the same time that the Doctor moves closer, hands sliding to Rory's back, and Rory moans at the sensation of them surrounding him.

And then time seems to slow a bit, as the Doctor pulls back and then shifts to his left, leaning forward to kiss Amy but still keeping Rory snug between the two of them. Amy's hands still linger, teasingly, at his sides and half of the Doctor is pressed right up against him, and Rory thinks this is going to be the night that the Doctor says he's ready.

But unfortunately, because the universe never wants Rory to be right, this is not what happens. They continue on like this for a few more agonizing and wonderful minutes, and then the Doctor stops to look at them both with his dark, intense gaze.

"You two go on and get some sleep, then," he says. "I'll be awake for a bit longer."

Rory lets out a shuddering breath, staring at him in disbelief. He expects Amy to protest, but she's apparently too eager to react, because she tugs him along to their bedroom instead.

They ditch clothes as they go toward the bed, and within moments of laying down, Rory is cupping Amy's breasts and sliding into her, kissing her intently all the while. It's good, it's amazing, but he knows that in the back of their minds they're both thinking of the Doctor.


Time goes on (so to speak) after that. They start to suspect that the Doctor will never want more from them, and do their best to make themselves content with what they've got. Their decision seems to make the Doctor more comfortable, at least, because he seems more at ease at night, when he joins them. Even though it's obvious what they've just been up to, he never lets on like it bothers him, nor does he give the impression that he wants in. It doesn't make sense to Amy, and Rory can't exactly explain it either, so they let it go.

And then one night, Rory picks his head up from between Amy's legs and sees, in the doorway, exactly what he's imagined seeing more than once since this began.

The Doctor is just standing there, his mouth hanging open slightly. He seems to come back to himself all at once, mouth snapping shut and a composed look taking over. If he hadn't looked so utterly wrecked moments before, if it hadn't shot a thrill through Rory's spine, he'd think he imagined the whole thing.

"I'll just... come back in a bit, then," The Doctor says carefully, turning on the spot and disappearing through the doorway.

Amy and Rory call for him to come back - they're ready to go to bed now anyway - but he either doesn't hear them or doesn't listen.

When the Doctor comes back 15 minutes later, he's wearing a familiar warm smile and he crawls onto the bed beside Amy without a mention of what happened earlier.

He kisses them both goodnight with no more or less heat than usual, then rolls onto his back to go to sleep. Rory shares a look with Amy, who eventually just shrugs and shifts into a position to go to sleep too. Rory studies them both for several minutes after they fall asleep before finally giving up. The Doctor is not a puzzle he believes he will ever solve, especially not tonight. No use losing sleep over it.


Rory wakes up warm, with an arm slung possessively over his hip. He smiles sleepily and reaches for the hand resting comfortably near his waistband, eyes popping open when he realizes the long fingers don't belong to his wife. He spots her instantly, sitting in a comfy chair next to the bed, book in her hand though her eyes and smirk are focused on him.

"I got overheated. Woke up early," she says in a low murmur, her eyes dark.

The Doctor mumbles some nonsense under his breath, then Rory feels hot breath on his neck and the Doctor's hand presses down momentarily. The sensation is strangely strong (Rory blames the earliness of the day), and Rory bites his lip, urged on by Amy's expression to let himself enjoy this one moment.

"Rory?" the Doctor mumbles in a tone broken by sleep, and he moves impossibly closer and his hand moves in a decidedly southward direction for a moment, before he stills completely, his tension seeping into Rory's body at the same time.

"Sorry!" Rory exclaims, releasing the Doctor's hand and trying to will his blush to go away. "You were asleep, I mean, we were asleep--"

"Good morning, Doctor," Amy interrupts, bless her. Her smirk is unmistakable as she adds, "Sleep well?"

Rory can still feel the Doctor's breath against the back of his neck as he waits for a response, and he can't shake the feeling that the Doctor is staring at him intently in that way he has.

"Quite well, thank you," the Doctor finally says, sounding perfectly composed as usual. Rory envies this of him. He thinks if he tried to speak now, it would come out a series of stammers and jumbled-up words. He's almost grateful when the Doctor excuses himself immediately, saying something about finding a suitable planet for shopping; he feels like shopping.

Amy is on him almost immediately after the Doctor rounds the corner, smirking. “You look like you’re about to explode.”

“Nnn,” he says, the best he can do as her fingers grip his cock perfectly and start moving. He swallows and amends, “I should not be expected to deal with this so early in the morning.”

“Best wake yourself up soon,” she says, slipping out of her pajama bottoms. Rory stares as she slips two fingers in between her legs, body arching and mouth falling open in pleasure. Her voice is just a bit breathless as she continues, “I’d hate to have to go on without you.”

Rory’s cock twitches as he watches her move, then he comes to his senses and reaches for her post-haste.

“If the Doctor were here,” he says, mouth skimming over the curve of her breast, “he could take care of you while I’m still waking up.”

She gasps and pushes toward his mouth, encouraging what he’s doing. “No he won’t. He’ll get me all worked up and then you’ll decide you’re awake, and he’ll get distracted.”

Rory laughs, teeth skimming lightly over Amy’s skin as he moves to give her the same treatment on the other side. “You would never let that happen.”

She laughs, definitely breathless. Rory smiles to himself. “You say that like I have any control over what he does.”

Rory takes a moment to ease her onto her back, preparing them both with unnecessary precision, before lining himself up and pausing. “In this case, I think you know you do.”

He slides in with one perfect thrust, she grabs his arms and arches, and they move into each other, breaths mingling in the air. They mumble to each other between gasps about what the Doctor would do if he were there, and it’s almost like he is.


"The Great Market of Toman'yu," the Doctor announces as they step out of the TARDIS. "Entire village is a shop. Some of the most expensive memorabilia in the world is sold here... and some of the cheapest trinkets. The trick," he whispers to Amy, "is to figure out which is which."

After a quick visit to the currency exchange (which goes much easier than the last attempt to get money), they are able to start browsing. The Doctor won't answer any of his or Amy's questions, so they have to ask the shopkeepers, and then decide for themselves if whatever they've found is worth the price.

Around mid-day, Rory's starting to get bored. Not that the market isn't grandiose and amazing, but he'd much rather go off on his own than watch the Doctor intensely examine an old rock to decide if it's the one he wants.

After fifteen minutes of trying Rory's patience, the Doctor finally exclaims triumphantly that he's found it, and asks the shopkeeper for a price.

Rory's eyebrows shoot up when he hears the number, and Amy's do the same when the Doctor says he'll take it.

"Why would you pay so much for an old rock?" Amy asks, bewildered.

"Well, let me explain. This rock--"

"Doctor!" Rory exclaims, seeing the starlight glint off something in the next booth. "Look at that sword!"

"Rory, do you mind? I'm trying to--hang on. What?" he stops and turns to the shopkeeper. "Hold this."

He runs over to the sword, picks it up, looks and it closely, and then brandishes it at the next booth's shopkeeper. "Where did you get this?" he demands to know.

The shopkeeper holds his hands up and insists he was given it to sell. The Doctor wants to know who gave it to him. They find out and then they're running all over the place and getting into trouble. The Doctor does stop long enough to pay for the rock before they go, though.


"Ugh, I'm going to fall right asleep." Amy says, kicking off her shoes as she falls dramatically onto the bed. "Go on and change, Doctor. You're not sleeping in your jacket and bow tie. Again."

"Hang on," she says, staring at the mattress. She stretches her hands out toward either side. "It's bigger. The bed, doesn't it seem bigger to you?"

The Doctor has already disappeared, presumably to change, so Rory approaches the bed and falls against it long-ways.

“Dunno, could be,” he says, shifting around to look at it from another angle. He opens his mouth to comment further, but he sees Amy’s eyes have already fallen shut. He huffs out a laugh and shucks off his trousers and shirt, pulling the covers back and easing both of them underneath.

His eyes are already drooping when the Doctor comes back, looking oddly disheveled. Rory waves for him to join them under the covers.

"But you two never go straight to sleep," the Doctor says, looking confused.

"We've never run through the entire Market of Toman'Yu in one day either."

Amy hums in her sleep, shifting toward Rory.

"She is lovely, isn't she?" the Doctor says, smiling.

"More lovely than either of us probably deserve," Rory says, though they both know he doesn't mean it. He thinks the Doctor deserves the world (maybe even the universe), and he stopped feeling self-deprecating long ago.

The Doctor leans over and kisses Amy's forehead sweetly. When he pulls back, he makes no secret of putting his arm snugly around Rory's waist, laying almost on top of him to give him a proper kiss. Rory hums a bit into the Doctor's mouth, too tired to get really into it, but enjoying the Doctor's surprising enthusiasm nonetheless.

"Goodnight, Doctor," Rory whispers, rolling on his side to face Amy but pulling the Doctor's arm a bit so he'll shift closer on the bed.

"Right," the Doctor says several moments later, when Rory is almost asleep. "Goodnight."


Rory is the first one to wake up the next morning, and he feels a bit like a king, Amy and the Doctor snuggled up to him from either side. The TARDIS has been quite accommodating with the A/C, and he's perfectly comfortable. He stretches a bit, trying not to disturb either of them overly much. Amy snuffles in her sleep and moves slightly, drawing Rory's attention to her hand, resting on his chest but, he now notices, snugly under the Doctor's hand.

He watches them sleep for a moment, remembering the previous morning, the Doctor's cuddling seeming about to take a turn. He thinks now of Amy joining him, both of their hands skimming down Rory's chest and easing past his waistband...

And then he has to stop and swallow thickly, because he's made an agreement with Amy not to make the Doctor feel too uncomfortable. And while he'd love to see the Doctor's reaction if he woke up to Rory jerking off inches away on the bed, the Doctor might not be too ambivalent about it later, and Rory can't stand the awkwardness when the Doctor tries and fails to act like anything like that ever happened.

Of course, the Doctor wakes up in that moment, gripping Amy's hand in an affectionate way and then squinting his eyes open at Rory. A smile edges into his expression as he appears to wake up, slowly, and he finally murmurs, "Morning," with a full smile.

Rory still feels the now too-familiar flutter in his chest when that smile is directed at him, but he ignores it and manages to say "g'morning," without stammering.

The Doctor stares at him for several moments, and Rory's about to ask if he's got something on his face when the Doctor darts forward and presses his lips to Rory's. Rory goes "oh!" into the kiss, blindsided, and after a moment, kisses back.

The Doctor is surprisingly into this for having just woken up, but Rory matches his enthusiasm as best he can. He twists to face the Doctor on the bed, reaching up to frame the Doctor's face with his hands and give them a better angle.

Rory twists his tongue a certain way against the Doctor's, and starts when the Doctor moans and shifts his body closer. He's grown used to the Doctor's responses, but they've never been quite so... enthusiastic.

He tries to keep his hips from pushing forward against the Doctor's leg, almost too close and yet not close enough. The Doctor takes control of the kiss, practically climbing on top of Rory, and Rory's head is filled with nothing but the Doctor until suddenly he hears a disgruntled "Oi!"

"Amy! Good morning!" the Doctor says happily, as if he hasn't just snogged Rory senseless. He then watches in amazement as the Doctor urges Amy to sit up and then leans on Rory so that he can give Amy the same treatment.

Amy utters a pleased little giggle into the kiss, turning it dirtier and better in the way only she can pull off. Rory can only lay back and watch (mainly because the Doctor is pinning him down), feeling impossibly turned on and unable to do anything about it. Then, oh, Amy seems to remember him and she reaches down the trail a fingernail down his side. She slides it down to his waistband, then turns her wrist and traces three fingers back up, then continues the pattern of teasing touches, giving the Doctor no less attention.

Her teasing only intensifies as the kiss deepens, and Rory wonders at how he once despised this man for getting to kiss Amy. Now he can only imagine being angry because he missed out on the sight.

He takes time to enjoy the vision, now that he has it, and then he watches in fascination as the Doctor reaches for her and - intentionally or not, Rory doesn't know - rests his hand just beside her breast, thumb brushing over her nipple through the thin cloth.

Amy's hand spreads wide and in her surprise, she pushes down on Rory's stomach, which would be more of a turn-on if it hadn't knocked the wind out of him. He coughs for a moment, hating himself for breaking the moment as the two of them break apart, breathing heavily but still making sure he's alright.

"I'm fine, don't stop on account of me," he says, waving a dismissive hand at their concern.

"Well good morning to me!" Amy says, stretching and falling back onto the mattress. The silky pajama shirt pulls up as she stretches, revealing skin that Rory just wants to lick, so he spares one quick glance at the Doctor and then decides just to go for it.

Amy utters a pleased, "ooh!" as he does so, reaching for him so they can share their own morning kiss. It's no less heated than her kiss with the Doctor, or his for that matter, except this time he has permission to do just about anything.

"Doctor, we may need a bit before we're ready for today's adventure," Rory says, keeping his eyes on Amy's dark gaze. It's as kind a dismissal as he's found, though he knows the Doctor will usually turn tail and run off on his own if they go too far with him around.

It feels a bit rude to dismiss him like that, but he usually leaves on his own.

Rory pauses. He usually leaves on his own.

"Actually, I thought I might stay," the Doctor says with a small, mischievous smile. Only his eyes betray the slightest hint of uncertainty.

"You want to--" Rory begins. Amy is already shifting toward him.

"Watch," the Doctor finishes, breaking eye contact.

Amy pauses, and they both share a look. Rory knows Amy doesn't mind, and she knows he doesn't, but they have to be sure.

"We're not going to scare you off?" Rory asks.

"No, I sincerely doubt that," the Doctor says, meeting Rory’s gaze briefly.

"Okay," Amy says.

"Okay?" the Doctor repeats, but Amy is apparently satisfied with the way things are, because she goes back to kissing Rory like they weren't interrupted.

Rory feels the weight on the bed change, and he has to open his eyes to look. The Doctor has moved to the comfy chair next to the bed, but his attention is rapt on the two of them. Rory closes his eyes again quickly, focusing on Amy.

He feels suddenly shy knowing the Doctor is watching, sliding his hand under Amy's nightshirt to cup her breast, hesitant to pull the shirt off completely.

Amy doesn't share his shyness. She pushes her body forward until Rory has to shift his weight, and then she presses her advantage to flip them over, straddling him and smirking as she pulls his underwear off. Rory blushes, fighting the urge to look at the Doctor.

Amy leans down to kiss him, working him in her hand until he's moaning and his hips are pushing forward, seeking more friction.

The next few minutes seem to pass in a lustful haze, but Rory has distinct memories of Amy sinking down onto him, both of them pausing in their thrusts when they hear the Doctor gasp, his quick glance at the Doctor's wrecked expression (even though no one has even touched him), and the way that he comes harder than he thinks he ever has.

Rory breathes heavily as he comes down, convincing himself to keep his eyes closed for fear that the Doctor will have disappeared. When he does open them, though, the Doctor remains, face flushed and expression quite shy. He's also sitting up awkwardly and completely ignoring his own erection.

Rory observes all of this, but before he gets around to pointing it out to Amy, she's already slinking over toward him. "Doctor," she says in that honeyed voice that Rory can't resist, "have fun?"

She glances back at Rory, giving him a look as if to say, 'well, are you coming?' Rory scrambles over to join them, though he feels guilty because the Doctor just looks so embarrassed. He feels like that was him, several years ago and miles away when he got his first hard-on looking at a guy in the locker room.

Amy doesn't let his hesitance slow her down. She rests a hand dangerously high on the Doctor's leg and leans in to speak in his ear. "We can take care of you," she says.

The Doctor swallows and looks at her, touching her face almost reverently, then pulling her forward to rest their foreheads together for several long moments. She pulls away, looking dazed, and then the Doctor turns and does the same to Rory. As their foreheads touch, Rory is hit suddenly with the weight of all the Doctor's years, and the importance of this moment. He feels something in the Doctor's touch that has equal weight in him, the love he truly feels for the Doctor being echoed back at him.

When the Doctor withdraws his hand, Rory feels a bit dizzy, and Amy's hand on his arm means she must be feeling the same way. He shares another look with Amy, this one much different then those previous. For the first time, they have some idea of what the Doctor's feeling, though Rory is sure that was barely even the tip of the iceberg.

"And you're ready?" Rory asks, wanting to be sure.

The Doctor smiles then, open and mischievous, apparently satisfied with this turn of events. He stands and pulls the two of them into a hug, then heads straight for the bed.

"I can't believe you two," the Doctor begins, stretching out on the bed with an obvious plan to talk at them for a while, despite his obvious arousal. "All this time, you claim to want me, and then on the day I make my move and plan the whole day to do it, you come back and go straight to bed."

"We were chased by half the shopkeepers of Toman'yu! Not exactly the best aphrodisiac in the universe," Rory protests.

"Hang on," Amy says, catching on to something. "That rock. The one you gave us, that you bought in the Market."

"Yes, finally, thank you Amy. That was a piece of Ancient Matter. A rock from the first planet at the dawn of time. Been around more millennia than you could fathom." He pauses and looks into the distance. "A token, meant to signify a love that can weather all things, even time. And I would've explained it to you had Rory not gotten distracted by the shiny sword in the next booth."

"Oi! I was fascinated, what about you? You were the one that decided to break into the chief's tent and wield it at him!"

"It didn't belong to them, and I had to be sure they were to blame before I accused the wrong person. How was I to know that speaking to the chief would start a riot throughout the village?"

"Boys!" Amy suddenly cries, frustrated. "Don't you think you're getting a bit off track?" She stares at them both until she is apparently satisfied, then continues. "Right. So you planned everything out perfectly, the shopping, the token, the bigger bed. You were seducing us."

Rory can't believe it, but Amy has managed to make the Doctor blush.

"I wouldn't say seducing, it was more like... signaling." Rory and Amy shoot him identical looks of mixed amusement and disbelief, so he continues, "You told me to let you know when I was ready! This was me, letting you know."

"The words, 'I want you' or 'I'm ready now' or even 'Let's shag' would have been much more direct," Amy points out, but she's apparently moving past it because she starts running her hand along the Doctor's inner thigh.

"You're more important to me than that," the Doctor says, looking painfully earnest despite the obvious effect Amy is having on his libido. "Both of you, I mean it," he adds, looking at Rory now.

"Doctor," Amy says, in that tone of voice that means she's decided something and no one will be able to stop her, "telling us you want us... It's not cheap, or meaningless. If it's the truth, then it's just as important as the Ancient Matter... rock."

"Though that really is lovely," Rory feels compelled to throw in.

"Yes. Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to get back to the shagging."

The Doctor looks as if he wants to protest, to monologue some more before they get moving - Rory is impressed at his willpower - but then Amy gives one good tug at his pajama pants and then takes him in her mouth without any hesitation.

Rory watches in fascination. He's never seen her like this, from this angle, and the Doctor's face is fairly priceless as well. He wishes he had a camera, because... wow.

And then, oh, the Doctor tears his shocked gaze away from Amy and fixes it on Rory, and Rory feels himself moving toward him without being asked. He fits their mouths together and the Doctor responds hungrily, even more intense than usual, which Rory would have been unable to fathom a second ago. He breaks the kiss and turns his head to trail kisses down the Doctor's neck.

The Doctor seems very controlled in the face of all this stimulation, which is more than Rory would be able to say for himself, but in looking closer, Rory can see that he's starting to unravel. Rory sits back to watch the Doctor's expression for a moment, and it's practically reverent as he reaches down to card his fingers through Amy's hair. She moans appreciatively at the touch, and the Doctor tilts his head back and makes a wonderful noise as his hips twitch forward.

"Amy," the Doctor says in a broken, awed whisper. Rory darts in while he's still stretched out to press a kiss underneath his chin. He maps his mouth over the Doctor's heated skin, down over his chest, and he can feel his muscles tense.

"Doctor," Rory says, then has to pause to swallow when that wrecked gaze is focused on him. "It's okay to let go."

It's probably just convenient timing, but the Doctor arches up with a cry at that, Amy moving with him like the sex goddess that she is. Rory watches is appreciation as she sits up and receives the Doctor's thanks in the form of a long, languid kiss.

When Amy's mouth finally leaves the Doctor's, she leaves her body mostly draped over him and says, "Come on, Rory. Cuddling."

It's a lot closer cuddling he's grown accustomed to, but he feels like he's just ridden a roller coaster five times and once backwards, so he ignores any self-consciousness and enjoys the relaxation.

In the ensuing silence, his brain starts to work, and he eventually has to sit up and ask the Doctor, "What changed your mind?"

"You did," the Doctor says easily. "Both of you."

Rory smiles and ducks his head, but Amy isn't having that. "What kind of answer is that? We're the same people we were three months ago when you wouldn't even snog us."

"I told you I wasn't ready, not that I never would be."

She heaves a frustrated sigh, but they both know there's more fondness in it than she would admit.

Rory must have dozed off at some point, because the next thing he knows, he's blinking awake, facing the opposite wall, and there is some unsubtle shifting going on behind him. It's almost a repeat of the previous day, except this time he knows that's the Doctor's hand, and he's pretty sure it's there on purpose.

He slides his hand over the Doctor's wrist to encourage the direction it's heading, and the Doctor leans in and hums contentedly into Rory's neck.

Rory decides, now that the implications are out of the way, that he'd really quite like to see the Doctor. He rolls over onto his back, and the Doctor follows his lead and climbs on top of him as his hand moves that final bit down to wrap around Rory's cock. Rory's mouth falls open and he gasps as the Doctor pumps his fist, getting a feel for what he's doing.

"You're beautiful," the Doctor says, eyes contemplative as he studies Rory's face.

Rory laughs. "Yeah, we humans got the whole evolution thing right, finally," he quips, voice breaking halfway through when the Doctor twists his hand just right.

"I'm not talking about humans," the Doctor corrects. "I'm talking about you."

"Told you," Amy says from beside them. Rory didn't even know she was awake.

"Amy," Rory says, then breathes in sharply, feeling compelled to add, "Doctor."

Amy leans between them to kiss the Doctor, who thankfully keeps his rhythm up as his tongue curls into Amy's mouth. When she pulls away, Amy shifts around to face Rory, giving him the same treatment.

"You should take care of the Doctor too," she says confidentially.

"What about you?" he asks. Not that it doesn't sound brilliant, but Rory doesn't want anyone to be left out.

She grins wickedly. "I've a good idea of how you'll make it up to me. But best save it for tomorrow."

She moves away, and Rory gathers all his willpower to reach down and stop the Doctor's movements.

The Doctor looks confused for a moment, licking his lips absently. "Come up here," Rory beckons.

He lets his hands roam over the Doctor's skin as they kiss, mentally cataloging all the places that make him squirm and gasp into Rory's mouth.

Finally, when he can't take his own teasing any more, he guides the Doctor over a bit so that he can fist their cocks together. The Doctor makes a noise that sounds like oh into his mouth, and Rory has to agree with that sentiment.

"Just look at the two of you," Amy says appreciatively. "My boys. All hot and bothered in my bed, and it's not even my birthday."

Rory makes an encouraging noise as the Doctor reaches between them to help.

"It could be," the Doctor says, voice coming out a bit strained. "We could jump ahead to your birthday. Or go back to the actual day of your birth. Wouldn't recommend that one, though. A bit risky."

Amy's eyebrows shoot up as he rambles on. "We must be doing something right, Rory, he's already making us promises."

"He's making you promises," Rory points out, though he's pretty content with things the way they are right now.

He regrets his word choice almost instantly, when the Doctor's flushed features take on a concerned expression. "What do you want, Rory Williams? What makes you happy?"

There are plenty of things that run through Rory’s mind, but he can’t really concentrate on them right now. He really just wants the Doctor to speed it up a bit, and he does his best to communicate that through the frantic movement of his body. The Doctor picks up on it and responds accordingly, and soon Rory is crying out as he spills over both of their hands.

He summons all his energy to work the Doctor to his release, letting the Doctor's little sounds wash over him until they both sag back onto the mattress contentedly.

"To answer your question," Rory says a few minutes later, "What makes me happy?"

The Doctor nods, looking serious.

He pulls Amy closer so that they're all snug against each other on the bed. "Ancient Matter rocks, you listening to me when I have a plan, and you, Amy, stopping me from doing anything stupid. Planets none of us have seen before and planets you're sharing with us for the first time. Every kind of species in the universe and being able to see how they interact with each other. The swing set behind Amy's house. The TARDIS. Both of you." He glances up from where he's taken both of their hands. The Doctor looks a bit misty-eyed, and Amy seems torn between hugging him and smacking him for being such a sap. "Just to name a few things."

She opts for hugging him, in the end. Rory holds them both close and knows he'll never forget this moment, with the three of them smiling at each other without another care in the world.


"You got to do it last night," Rory points out, trying to keep his voice down.

"Yes, but I've also done it before. You need to practice, and that's better done when he's awake."

The Doctor opens one eye, looks at both of them, and then blinks both eyes open.

"Oh, great," Rory complains. "Now you've woken him."

"What's going on?" the Doctor asks groggily.

"I wanted to wake you up the fun way, but then Amy said that she should do it and wouldn't let me, and then--"

"Hey, you're the one who was being all embarrassed and hesitant when I caught you at it," Amy says.

"The 'fun way,' what's that?" the Doctor asks, looking curious.

Rory shares a look with Amy. "With... my mouth?"

The Doctor stares at his mouth in confusion for a moment, but then it dawns on him. "Oh."


"Right." The Doctor laughs a bit. "You two never stop, do you?"

"Not unless you tell us to," Amy says, crawling on top of him and kissing him thoroughly.

They have a bit of a late morning, in the end.


"How do you feel about a concert?" the Doctor asks later, already directing the TARDIS to their next stop.

Rory responds with a mostly-apathetic "eh," while Amy says, "Depends who's giving the concert."

"The Faceoli have invited us to their first official live show since gaining their freedom," the Doctor announces, looking proud of himself.

"What, back on Jsunda?" Amy asks, giving him a skeptical look.

"Yes, and on that note, it's very important that we stick together while we're there. The shapeshifters might still be around."

"I think I can handle that," Amy says, grabbing onto the Doctor's belt and leaning in to demand a kiss.

"Weren't they on the other side of the planet, though? How would they be back on the side with the Faceoli?"

"Teleport zones," the Doctor explains. "You can travel just about anywhere on the planet, if you know where you're going. Besides," he adds, coming closer to Rory, "it will have been a few months. Anything could happen in that time frame."

Rory swallows thickly as he catches the Doctor's layered meaning, and also because the Doctor is in his space and smiling wickedly. Their kiss is nothing short of passionate, but it ends far too soon for Rory's liking. Amy picks up where the Doctor left off, only pulling away when the TARDIS lands and jerks them both to the side, laughing all the way.


For Rory, the concert passes far too quickly and yet not quickly enough. The Faleoci have been kind enough to give them the finest seats, not exactly private but apparently private enough.

Rory yelps in surprise when the Doctor's hands suddenly start roaming halfway through song two, and by song ten his clothes are pulled at odd angles, his mouth red, and Amy and the Doctor look just as disheveled, if not worse.

"Back to the TARDIS, then?" Amy suggests, even though the concert is far from over.

"I think so, yeah," Rory answers, and they both look to the Doctor expectantly.

The Doctor breathes out a sigh, but it ends with a smile. "What am I going to do with you two?" he says, his smile growing. He hops up and leads the way down from their box seats, and Rory smiles at Amy triumphantly as they follow.

They're weaving their way through people in the venue's lobby, though, when suddenly Rory is grabbed roughly and pulled back from Amy and the Doctor. He tries to make a sound, but it's too loud in the room for them to notice, and then everything goes dark.


When Rory comes to, he is tied to a very uncomfortable chair in a poorly lit room like he was just dropped in a cheesy buddy cop movie.

There's even another guy in here, waiting for him, who smiles when he sees that Rory is awake and morphs into Yror, his lookalike.

"Hello, sunshine," Yror says, evil sneer on his face. Rory never imagined seeing his evil twin (though it sounds like something Amy might have dreamed up when they were kids), but if he had, Yror is pretty much spot on.

"What do you want?" Rory asks, glaring.

"You've got a TARDIS," Yror says, crouching down and shooting Rory a mocking look. "And we're going to take it."

Rory rolls his eyes. "What are you going to do, snog me to death? Because that worked so well last time."

Yror smirks and then stands up straight, morphing into Amy's counterpart.

"Maybe not on you," Yma says, leaning close to whisper in his ear. Rory fights his response to that, focusing on the fact that she's not Amy. "But my partner should be taking your friends out as we speak."

"Oh please," Rory says, turning to stare her directly in the eye. "One word out of his mouth, and they'll know he's not me."

Yma laughs loudly, standing up. "Have you seen yourselves, boy? You can't keep your hands off each other. He won't need to say a word."

Rory swallows, remembering his thoughts right before they snatched him. He hopes Yma isn't right.

"Besides," she continues, rippling into an imitation of the Doctor, "I haven't given up on you yet."

"I was misguided in posing as your wife the first time," Rotcod continues. "You've clearly grown complacent with her. But this Doctor," he says, running his hands down his body appreciatively, "he's still new to you. And quite handsome, if a bit misguided in clothing choices."

Rory keeps a steady glare going, refusing to react. Rotcod steps in closer, running his hands teasingly across Rory's neck, down his arm. Rory shudders involuntarily.

"That's what I love about you humans. Susceptible to the basest instincts; all it takes is a touch."

"And what about you lot?" Rory counters. "You can't even kiss someone without knocking them out. What a pathetic existence that must be."

Rotcod scowls, and it's not a look Rory ever wants to see on the Doctor's face. "You don't know a thing about intimacy!" he spits out, baking away to pace the floor. "You species throws away kisses like they're nothing! We save ourselves for decades, and after a nice long life, we share one memorable kiss with our lover before moving on."

"What? That's how all your best relationships end, with the two of you killing each other?"

"Hold your tongue, boy. You know nothing of us."

After a pause, Rory tilts his head up and says, "You know, there might be a way for you to get past it."

Rotcod regards him with suspicion. "Like what?"

"Untie my hands and I'll show you."

Rotcod bursts out laughing. "You must think I was born yesterday!"

"Just my hands," Rory presses. "You'll still have my feet; I won't be able to go anywhere."

Rotcod narrows his eyes, but he looks like he's thinking about it. After a moment, he offers, "One hand."

Rory glares. "Fine. One hand."

"What do you want with the TARDIS, anyway?" Rory asks, trying to draw attention away from the fact that he's watching intently to see how the knots are undone.

"What do I want with a TARDIS!?" he repeats in disbelief. "Wow, boy, you really are stupid."

Rory just gives him an unamused look and raises his eyebrows as if to say, 'Well?'

"To get off this rock, of course," Rotcod say, scowling. "Trapped here my whole life with nothing new to see. You don't know how good you have it."

"Me?" Rory asks. "What about you? You've got free reign of the entire planet! Where I come from, you've got to pay for that kind of mobility. Your fiancée goes to Scotland for a month, you can't just pop 'round the corner and go see her, you've got to wait."

The last knot pulls free and Rotcod smirks at him. "Just as I suspected. The TARDIS doesn't belong to you at all, does it? He's just having you along. How long 'til that's over? 'Til he gets bored of you and drops you at the next pitstop?"

Rory doesn't take the bait. "Do you want me to help you or not?"

"I sincerely doubt you will help me," Rotcod says, "unless you intend to let me on the TARDIS."

Rory reaches out and grabs Rotcod's face, and he looks at Rory in alarm until Rory tilts his face away and presses a kiss to his neck. It feels wrong, weird, but Rory needs a moment to convince himself that what he's about to do is right. Rotcod makes an odd, pleased humming noise and Rory steels himself.

"A true kiss for the false one," he mumbles, and Rotcod says, "What?" as Rory turns his face back and brings their mouths together.

He does his best to keep two things in mind as he kisses him: how much he truly cares for the Doctor, and how much he truly despises this guy.

Rotcod responds enthusiastically, and it's wrong, all wrong. Rory does his best not to doubt himself and is rewarded, ultimately, when Rotcod's body goes limp and he falls to the floor.

Rory breathes a sigh of relief, and then spits on the ground. "That just wasn't right," he tells no one as he gets to work on the other knots.


He calls his cell phone from the TARDIS phone once he gets back, knowing that he left it in the jacket that Amy was wearing. It rings twice, and worry starts to creep into his mind when there is a click.

"This had better be my husband," Amy says, sounding threatening.

"Hello, dear," he says sweetly. "I take it you're having as much fun as me."

"We're trying to decide how to deal with this... shapeshifter person. The Doctor keeps trying to talk to him, but he just goes on about the TARDIS the whole time, and he won't stop looking like you."

"It's okay, I know how to defeat them," Rory says. "A true kiss to make up for the false one."

"What?" Amy asks, sounding distracted.

"A true-- You know what, just put the Doctor on the phone."

"Rory! What's the code phrase?"

Rory sighs and dutifully says, "Bowties are cool." The Doctor makes a pleased noise and Rory adds, "They're not, though. Just because you made me say it doesn't make it true."

"See you've escaped being captured, then. Can't say the same for our friend here. Quite fond of looking like you, this one."

"Can't say I blame him," Rory says, laughing. The Doctor doesn't laugh back, though, so the sound dies out awkwardly. Rory clears his throat. "Right. So, a true kiss for the false one."

"What?" the Doctor says, and Rory's starting to wonder if the connection is bad, because they're not hard of hearing. But then the Doctor laughs, loud and triumphant.

"Rory, you brilliant, magnificent, gorgeous man!" Rory hears Amy in the background, but he can't make out what she's saying. "Later, Amy," the Doctor says, and Rory laughs.

"Right," the Doctor says, getting back on track. "Rory, you stay in the TARDIS. We'll take care of Yror and meet you back there."

"Did you just essentially tell me to wait in the car?"

"No, by all means, go wait in the bed," the Doctor says cheekily, then hangs up.

Rory stares at the phone, laughing in surprise. He doesn't know where they are, though, so he decides to take the Doctor up on that.

Waiting turns out to be insanely boring, though, and next thing he knows, he's asleep.


He wakes up from a really, really lovely dream, and he really, really doesn't want to wake up because -- oh. Oh, he's not dreaming.

The Doctor is there, between his knees, waking him up the 'fun way' with Amy sitting nearby offering helpful hints. Rory tries to say something, but it just comes out nnngh.

"Good! See, he's awake and making appreciative noises."

Rory doesn't quite like the way she makes it sound so clinical, but the Doctor continues on enthusiastically. "Oh, so it's alright if he practices while I'm asleep, but not the other way around?" He bites his lip and concentrates on not pushing into the warm heat of the Doctor's mouth.

The Doctor pulls off, looking disappointed, but not as disappointed as Rory feels. He's not even ashamed for the pathetic noise that escapes his lips.

"You said if he was still forming coherent sentences, I wasn't doing it right," the Doctor says to Amy, and he just looks so sullen.

"Doctor," Rory says, a bit breathless, "get back here."

Amy raises her eyebrows as if to say see? You're doing fine, and the Doctor mercifully goes back to his ministrations.

By the time his hands are fisting in the sheets and he tries valiantly to warn the Doctor, Amy has moved over close enough to pull him away and kiss Rory thoroughly while she pulls him over the edge.

When his head is clear, a few minutes later, he returns the Doctor's dopey grin and says, "Morning."


"You know, most husbands have to hear their wives complain about never having a chance to wear their wedding dress again," Amy says, joining them from the wardrobe. "But my husband makes me put it back on for laughs."

"You've always liked costumes," Rory points out.

She looks just as radiant wearing it as their wedding day, and Rory tells her this. This earns him a big smile and a long kiss.

"Can't say I disagree," the Doctor says, joining them.

"You look smashing as well," Rory says. "Don't know if I mentioned. Love the top hat."

"Don't encourage him," Amy reprimands as the Doctor kisses Rory sweetly. As he backs away and begins flipping switches, the TARDIS kicking into gear, Amy asks, "So is anyone going to tell me why we're all wearing this get-up?"

"It's a surprise," Rory tells her. The Doctor smiles at him, and she looks between them with suspicion. "You'll find out soon enough."

"We had better not be going back to our wedding night. One of the perks of going off with the Doctor was avoiding small talk with the guests."

The TARDIS jolts to a halt, and the Doctor nods to Rory.

"You know how I told you to keep the weekend of August 21 open?" he asks Amy, taking both of her hands.

"Yeah. Why?"

Rory beams at her, pulling her along to the door and guiding the two of them outside. The Doctor follows dutifully behind them.

Amy puts her free hand to her mouth when she sees it, then looks at him, eyes wide and bright. "Is it--"

"Yup," Rory answers.

"Are we--"

"Yup," he says again. Amy makes a noise of delight and practically tackles him in a hug.

"What is it?" the Doctor asks, quietly butting in.

"You didn't tell him?" Amy asks Rory.

"It's a surprise for him too."

"It's this posh little resort we'd always talk about running away to when we were in school," she explains, taking each of them by the hand and leading them toward the resort. "We'd always dream up different scenarios, like one time we said we'd stow away in someone's bag and eat all their biscuits while they were out at the pool. But it's so expensive, it was always just a dream, even when we got older."

Her voice goes quiet, and she looks at Rory as if she can't believe he's real. It's a look so seldom directed at him that he doesn't quite know what to say.

"So, bride and groom, honeymoon suite," the Doctor says, trying and failing not to look expectant. He doesn't say 'where does that leave me?', but he may as well.

"It's big enough for three," Rory assures him, then holds out his hand. "Psychic paper."

The Doctor hands it over as agreed, but Rory is surprised when he doesn't even ask questions.

Even with the psychic paper, though, convincing the man at the front desk that the reservation should be for three is quite the challenge. In the end, Amy has to distract him while the Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to hack in and change the record.

The Doctor waits until they're in the room and Amy has gone to investigate the (unreasonably large) bathroom to protest.

"Rory," he begins in that argumentative tone. "You shouldn't be using your reservation for this. We could have come here ten years from now, and saved your money."

Rory shakes his head. "We travel in a time machine. I don't have any money, I don't know where anything is, I only figure out how to survive in increments. This is one thing I do have control over, and I want to share it. With both of you."

"I find you Ancient Matter, you reserve fancy hotels," the Doctor says. It sounds fairly pathetic, but the Doctor smiles like it's brilliant.

"I know it's probably boring--"

"Nonsense!" the Doctor exclaims, interrupting. "With you two, nothing is ever boring."

Rory takes a page from the Doctor's book and continues as if he wasn't interrupted. "But it's only two nights, and then we'll get back to traveling."

"Alright boys," Amy says, appearing in the bathroom doorway with a bathrobe hanging from her shoulders, covering almost nothing. "What do you say we give this whirlpool tub a spin?"

Rory takes in the sight of her, unable to believe how gorgeous she is, and looks to see the same feeling expressed on the Doctor's face. He can hardly remember a time when the Doctor would look at either of them with a guarded expression.

The Doctor shifts his gaze toward Rory, eyes dancing. "Race you," he says before rushing to Amy's side and twirling her in a circle.

Rory laughs and points out that that's cheating, but he follows.


By the time they're ready to check out on Sunday, Rory has to admit he's ready to leave. They'd spent most of the day before shopping around London, Amy saying she was going to "update" the TARDIS wardrobe, and the Doctor spending far too long in a shop that had far too may bowtie selections. They went out to a fancy dinner that night, then had a bit of a lie-in this morning, but Rory is practically itching to get back to the TARDIS.

"I don't think I've ever felt so rested," the Doctor says, putting an arm around Rory's shoulders.

"Yeah," Rory agrees. "Glad it's over, though."

"Yeah?" the Doctor says, looking just slightly hopeful.

"Yeah. Given enough time without all that running, you start to miss it."

Amy pushes her way between the two of them and puts her arms around them, all of them smiling ridiculously. "Are you boys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Rory takes in her challenging stare and announces, "Race you to the TARDIS!"

He hears Amy's laugh and the Doctor's shout about cheating from behind him, but he's having too much fun to stop.

When Rory comes in view of the TARDIS, though, he sees Jeff standing there, arms crossed, next to a man in a trenchcoat.

Rory stops running, feeling a bit silly, until Amy and the Doctor speed past and he feels compelled to try to keep up.

The Doctor reaches the TARDIS first, clutching the corner of the box triumphantly. "Jeff! Jack! What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Doctor," they both say simultaneously. Jeff shoots a glare at the other man, Jack, who smiles as if he hasn't noticed.

"We're here to help you," Jack says.

"I wasn't aware I needed helping," the Doctor says.

"I know. The three of you dropped us off from the future. You're gonna want to let us inside."

"Trouble?" the Doctor says, looking pleased.

Rory and Amy share a smile. "What are we waiting for?"


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