Title: icon pairings
Pairings: various
Rating: PG at most
Summary: There was a meme where you list everyone that appears in your LJ icons alphabetically, and then pair them up in order. I took it a step further and wrote cracktastic stories for the pairings.
Disclaimer: I admit it! I made it up!

Chloe Sullivan/Clark Kent

When Jimmy broke up with her, Chloe immediately went to Clark for comfort. She was grateful for the clean break - Jimmy was moving away, so it was only natural that they both move on. But at the same time, Jimmy had been the sweetest guy in existence, her whole world for the past year. Well, almost. Clark Kent would always be part of her world, if only because he had chosen to make her part of his. She had told herself for months - no, years - that she was over Clark Kent. But when he showed up at the Daily Planet several weeks later with a single yellow rose and that dorky smile on his face, she found that she had been lying to herself. He flew her above Metropolis that night after all sane people had long gone home to their families. As they kissed softly as they landed on the roof of the Daily Planet, Chloe knew her whole world was standing right in front of her.

Clay Aiken/Dean Winchester

"Dean," Sam said suddenly, breaking Dean's train of thought.


"You're humming."


"So, it's distracting." Dean grunted in annoyance. "What is it you're humming anyway?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Dean shifted around in his chair, not looking at Sam.

"Seriously, it sounds kind of familiar." Dean did not respond, so Sam eventually forgot about it as he continued to search for information to help their current case.

And then, without warning, it came to him. "Clay Aiken?"

Dean jumped a bit in his chair. "Dude," he complained. He looked up at Sam's incredulous look. "Aw, come on. The blonde at the front desk was blaring the song. It was catchy."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Plus I think this is like his home state or something. The chicks love him here." He smirked down at his book as he continued to flip through the pages.

Sam shook his head. He would never understand his brother.

"If I was invisible..." Dean sang lightly to himself.

Doumeki (xxxHOLiC)/Draco Malfoy

Doumeki was leaning against the fence, waiting for Watanuki to get off work, when a blonde boy came wandering out of the shop. The boy seemed annoyed, and Doumeki heard the words "damned creepy witch" as he muttered under his breath.

"I take it you've been to see the witch?" Doumeki asked plainly, making the boy start.

"Must've been a portkey, yes, but she was able to help me." Draco narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the tall boy against the fence. "Are you a Muggle?" he asked with disdain.

Doumeki only blinked in response. "You look English."

"Excuse me?"

"I said you look like you're from England."

Draco gave the tall boy a critical look. "I am from England, you idiot."

"And yet you can speak perfect Japanese?"

"Japanese? What the hell are you on about?"

Ah, Doumeki thought. The witch must have set up some language translation charms. The blonde wasn't done ranting, however.

"Who do you damned people think you are? I swear, everyone here acts like they're high on gillyweed. And why are you smirking at me like that?" he demanded, fists balled at his side.

"You just remind me of someone, that's all."

The boy looked him up and down once, as if he were looking for something to insult. "Idiot," he finally declared before storming off.

Doumeki watched him go, then turned to find Watanuki standing by his side. "You just make friends everywhere you go, don't you?" Watanuki asked, amused.

Doumeki watched as the boy turn a corner down the street, knowing that he must be completely lost. "You wouldn't understand."

Dwight Schrute/Fai (Tsubasa)

"I'm sorry, sir, but your hair is much too long. We don't sell paper to... hippies." Dwight said, trying to be subtly insulting but not obviously rude.

Fai looked worried. He wasn't sure what a hippie was, but he was fairly certain he wasn't one. "Oh, but you simply must! We need as much of that funny kind with the lines and the holes in the side as we can get!"

Dwight sighed. They always gave him the weird customers. Obviously, the task couldn't be trusted to a less competant salesman, but sometimes it just seemed too tedious. "Fine," he finally consented. "But only if you pay for it up front."

The blonde man's face instantly lit up. "Oh, thank you!" And then without any warning, he rushed forward and attacked Dwight so fast that Dwight couldn't reach for his mace. After the man clung to him for a few moments, Dwight realized he was being hugged, and awkwardly patted the man's back. He glanced around the room to make sure no one else could see him in this compromising position, but the only other thing of interest in the room was a strange white stuffed animal.

"Are you a collector?" Dwight asked professionally once the man had released him, indicating the white animal. Fai looked confused for a moment, then regained his lackadaisical look.

"Oh yes, my family and I go from place to place collecting. It's really the only thing we do."

"Really?" Dwight asked, interested. "I'm a collector myself. Star Wars memoribilia, Superman collectibles, the usual thing. I also have an impressive sword collection," he said proudly.

Fai smiled and nodded as Dwight described his collection. When he had finished, Fai ushered him out the door.

"Wait," Dwight called back before he left. "What is it that you collect?" He wondered if the stuffed animal was part of a series, or from a movie he had never seen.

"Feathers," Fai said matter-of-factly, then shut the door in his face.

"Feathers..." Dwight muttered to himself. That night, he looked up Feathers on imdb.com and only found an obscure movie from the 80's. He supposed fandoms came in all sizes, and closed the window.

Gabriel Gray/Ginny Weasley

For the Father's Day immediately following her 23rd birthday, Ginny wanted to do something extra-special for her father. Something that would out-do anything her brothers could give. So she went to a muggle watch shop. When she arrived, she realized she had no idea what to buy, and cursed herself for not taking Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Judging what to buy based on her budget, she picked a particularly shiny silver watch, hoping that if it didn't work, her father would at least be distracted by how nice it looked.

But as she got it home and examined it, she decided there was no way it was working properly. The next day, she visited a watch repair shop and hoped she did not need to give the man any information on the watch. She gasped when she saw the repairman. At first glance, he appeared shy and reserved, but as she told him about the watch, she noticed he had very commanding, brown eyes.

"Are you alright?" the man asked. "You seem startled."

Ginny shook her head. "I'm fine." She laughed nervously. "I just... to be honest, I was expecting to come here and find an old man who couldn't see past the table." As soon as she'd said it, she blushed furiously. What a harsh thing to say about the man's profession.

But the man - Gabriel, she saw from the table - just smiled down at her and took the watch. "Not to worry, I'm sure I get that a lot, even if no one speaks it aloud."

He sat at his desk as Ginny took a seat and waited. Before long, Gabriel looked up at her with a half-amused smile and said, "I'm fairly sure there is nothing wrong with this watch."

Embarrassed, Ginny said. "Are you positive? It's not... that is, is it supposed to... work that way?" She felt completely stupid. How could she ask a Muggle if this was the way his watches normally worked?

Gabriel walked over to her, laughing lightly. "I think you may have just been looking for an excuse to come in here."

He stood very close to her. "Oh, no! I wouldn't do that, I mean, I just thought..." She glanced up at the man's eyes, which seemed to reflect her brilliant hair and shine in the light.

"Would you like to go across the street?" Gabriel asked with a charming smile, licking his lips. "There's a shop that has ice cream that's to die for."

Harry Potter/Hiro Nakamura

Hiro knew as soon as he'd teleported that there must be a terrible mistake. The three people looking back at him were much too overweight to be Harry's family, and they looked back at him with a mixture of fear and hatred. The older man immediately starting yelling obscenities at him, and he realized he was standing on their kitchen table.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly, bowing. "But I'm looking for Harry Potter. Can you tell me where I might find him?"

This statement only enraged the man further, and he continued to yell at Hiro to get out of his house. Hiro bowed again and ran for the door. Before he could get that far, however, Harry Potter came barreling down the stairs. He yelled at the old man that he would take care of things and quickly pulled Hiro outdoors.

As the door clicked shut behind him, he heard the woman finally speak as she shrieked about the neighbors seeing.

"Sorry about that. Did you Apparate here? Who are you?"

"Harry Potter. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Hiro Nakamura," he stated, holding his hand out.

"Why are you here?" Harry asked, shaking his hand.

"I have a message for you." Hiro paused to push his glasses up on his nose, and watched as Harry fidgeted with his own glasses.

"OK, what is it? Why didn't you just send an owl?"

Hiro had been told there might be some confusion between their cultures. "I'm from the future. I was sent to tell you... make sure your godfather does not go to the Department of Mysteries. Ever."

Harry stared back at him, wide-eyed. "What? Why? I don't even know where that is..."

Hiro shrugged. "I'm just the messenger. 'Save the godfather, save the world.'" Harry nodded, scratching his head. "But now I must go."

"Wait!" Harry shouted. "Who sent you?"

Hiro paused, then shrugged, deciding it was only fair to tell him. "The fangirls."

Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles

Jensen entered his hotel room and immediately let himself fall back on his bed. Season 3 was premiering in just over a week, and he had been running from interview to interview in order to promote the show. He was exhausted. So when Jared called and asked him to go out for a drink, he had to decline, saying he was going to sleep for the next two days. Jared seemed disappointed, but said he'd see him tomorrow.

Two hours later, Jensen was awoken by a loud banging. Slowly becoming aware of his surroundings, he realized someone was at his door.

He forced himself out of bed to answer the door, and discovered a very disheveled and very drunk Jared Padalecki waiting on the other side. "Fuckin' interviews," Jared mumbled, pushing into the room.

"Nice to see you too, Jared," Jensen declared around a yawn.

"'M just tired of never having time to m'self anymore, y'know?" Jared asked, flopping back on the bed and taking up all the space, much to Jensen's annoyance.

"I know the feeling." Jensen poked Jared in the side until he rolled over to give up half the bed. Jared immediately started rambling on a long list of how life was unfair, and his low voice quickly lulled Jensen off to sleep.

Eight hours later, Jensen woke up and discovered Jared's right arm was draped around him. Too tired to care and convinced that he could not be blamed for this, he snuggled back against Jared and closed his eyes. He deserved a couple more hours of sleep, and Jared would probably be out for-- "You're awake," Jared interrupted his reasoning.

Jensen blinked in surprise and immediately stilled. "Yeah,... but I was just gonna go back to sleep..." he said tentatively.

"'Mkay," Jared said roughly in his ear, shifting to get comfortable. His arm remained around Jensen's waist, however, and the hot breath on Jensen's neck indicated that Jared was sharing the other half of his pillow with him.

The next time Jensen woke up, Jared's arm was in the same place, but his shirt had ridden up. This put Jared's hand right over the plane of his stomach, splayed out over all the sensitive spots. Careful not to move so that he wouldn't wake Jared, Jensen tried to fall back asleep, giving Jared a chance to wake up first and avoid the embarrassment this would cause.

But then the lightest of touches on the back of his neck indicated that Jared was already awake. Jared pressed his lips quickly and almost imperceptibly on the warmest part of Jensen's neck, sending shivers down Jensen's spine. Maybe he was dreaming...

He quickly reached up his free hand and placed it on Jared's arm, rubbing gently. He felt Jared freeze behind him, and felt rather than heard his intake of breath. "Am I dreaming?" Jensen asked.

"I... I don't think so," Jared's voice replied in a whisper, centimeters away from his ear. He heard Jared swallow. "Am I?"

Jensen ignored the protest in his muscles as he shifted to turn around in bed. Facing Jared now, he saw the worried surprise in the other's eyes. His stomach felt cold without Jared's hand over it. "No," he replied, then kissed him.

Jim Halpert/Kurogane (Tsubasa)

Jim reminded Dwight for the 7th time before he left that he was leaving to fix Dwight's mistake.

"The man didn't know anything about paper, and I have more important customers to deal with," Dwight replied haughtily.

Snickering, Jim headed out to his car.

The apartment he arrived in was strangely decorated. He asked for Mr. Flowright, but the sweet girl at the door said that he wasn't in for the day. "You can speak with Kurogane, he's in charge today," she informed him with a smile.

Kurogane was tall and dark and really kind of intimidating. "Let's talk about some dead trees, here," he said, sitting across from the man. The dark, unamused look he received in return made him wonder if the guy was an environmentalist. "...Right. So, the problem seems to be that you don't know what kind of paper you want, right? So why don't you tell me what purposes you need it to serve, and I'll tell you what is recommended."

Kurogane continued to look unpleased to see him. "Letters," he said gruffly. Jim raised his eyebrows, hoping the man would continue, and luckily he did. "We need to write letters."

Seeing that he wasn't going to elaborate further, Jim began to explain different types of paper. "You might want cardstock, which is thicker, but then you'll have to decide which color you want, as well. We have several colors of course, but if it's more formal, you'll want to go with a subdued--"

"This is really what you do?" Kurogane interrupted.

"I'm sorry?" Jim asked, smacking his lips and raising his eyebrows.

"You sell paper. This is your job."

"Unfortunately, yes."


Jim contemplated the question. The man was clearly sincere in his question; he doubted Kurogane had told a joke in the last 5 years of his life. "Have you ever..." he began, trying to find the right wording. "Have you ever done something, let control of your life slip out of your hands, just to keep one person in it?"

Kurogane looked surprised for a moment, his hand reaching for a cloth wrapped around the opposite arm. He glanced down at it briefly before murmuring, "It's like you don't have a choice."

Jim smirked, staring into the distance. "Exactly."

Lex Luthor/Lois Lane

The first time Lois interviewed Lex, she had been naive enough to think he'd go easy on her. After that embarrassing event, she did her homework before she ever set foot on the grounds of his mansion. She used all her sources to the best of their ability whenever she had the slightest inkling that a story was there for the taking.

So she should have been suspicious when her newest story practically came to her.

When she set foot in Lex's library, and he sat as always protected behind the desk on the far side of the room, she could tell by the look on his face that something was up. "Listen, Luthor, I'm not sure what you think you're up to, but whatever it is, it's not going to work." She punctuated the end of her sentence by holding her head high and stopping in front of his desk with her hands on her hips.

Lex smirked up at her before standing. "No need to be so formal, Lois. 'Lex' will do just fine. Please, have a seat," he said, indicating the chair in front of his desk as he walked over to pour her a drink.

She shot him a suspicious look as he handed her the glass. "I know all about your dealings with Dr. Richardson," she said accusingly.

He smiled too serenely as he took his seat on the other side of the desk. "Do you now?" He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. "Do tell."

Lois felt uneasy. "You set me up to find that story." It wasn't a question.

"I had to get you here. I wanted the best reporter I could find to write this story for me. It has the potential to be the biggest scientific breakthrough since we put a man on the moon."

Now Lois gave him a skeptical look. "Uh huh. And what would this great, insightful discovery be?"

Lex leaned toward her, excitement showing in his eyes. "Alien life."

Lois let out a sharp 'tuh!' of disbelief before she could catch herself. "Aliens?" she said, scoffing. But Lex promised he could prove it to her.

Three weeks later, they were standing together in Metropolis when Superman flew over them to rescue the city. Lex placed a hand on her back and whispered, "I told you so," centimeters away from her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Masi Oka/Michael Bolton (Office Space)

"You heading out soon?" Michael asked, walking by Masi's cubicle.

"Yeah, in just a minute." Masi answered, not looking up from his computer. "Hey, come take a look at this."

Michael wandered over and was greeted with an image of a camel, with Lumbergh's face photoshopped seamlessly onto it. "That's amazing!" Michael exclaimed as he laughed.

Masi smiled at the computer screen. "I finished my TPS report in like 10 minutes this morning, and this is what I've been working on ever since."

Michael chuckled at the thought. "I wish I had the nerve to do that. I feel like I waste every day of my life trying to get our goddamned printer to work." He scowled as Masi's printer dished out a copy of the image without a single problem. "Seriously though, man, why are you still working here?" he asked, holding the printed copy up and examining it. "With talent like this, you could probably get a job for Industrial Light and Magic or something!"

Masi laughed as he shut down his computer. "Man, I wish. This place isn't exactly the kind of experience they want to see on a resume, though."

Michael shook his head. "Whatever excuses you wanna make, I still say you could do it. Hey listen, a bunch of us are going to Chotchkie's at 5." He glanced down at his watch. "You wanna join us?"

"Nah, I've gotta get home. But I'll see ya on Monday."

"Alright, man, see ya," Michael replied, high fiving Masi.

Several years later...

Michael flopped down on the couch, ready to take a break after a painstakingly long Monday at Initrode. It was late September, in that time that it started to feel cold enough to be a pain in his ass, and he preferred to stay inside. He turned the TV on to NBC. He heard about this new show on the radio on the way home, and decided to give it a shot.

Fifteen minutes later, after an exclamation of "Holy shit!" and watching open-mouthed, he was on the phone with Peter. "Hey man, you'll never guess who I'm watching on TV right now..."

Milo Ventimiglia/Mohinder Suresh

"Excuse me, Milo ...Ventimiglia?" Mohinder asked, guessing at the pronunciation. The man nodded, so Mohinder offered his hand. "Mohinder Suresh. I have a theory about evolution, and I believe you may be a part of it."

"Evolution? What do you mean by that?" Milo asked, brushing back his hair and shaking Mohinder's hand.

It was like a jolt, immediate and breathtaking. As he looked up at Milo smiling back at him, personal space seemed to disappear and he needed to be closer. "An..." he swallowed audibly, trying to focus. "An alteration in your genes... that will take us to the next evolutionary... level. Tell me, do you have this effect on a lot of people?" he inquired quickly, feeling slightly short of breath.

"Effect?" Milo asked, before brushing off the question. "So you think I might have some sort of... what, ability?"

"I, uh." Mohinder found himself reaching up to touch the long black hair that kept falling in Milo's eyes. "Yes," he added, closing his eyes in hopes of focusing on the conversation. "I believe it might be an ability, or skill, that most humans do not possess." He opened his eyes to find Milo's quirking smile in his vision, and suddenly found himself forgetting his next thought.

"D'you think one of these skills might be... I dunno, some sort of... animal magnetism?" Milo asked with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, do please stop talking," Mohinder said before he claimed that crooked smile with his own lips.

Mokona (Tsubasa)/Molly Walker

"Oh, it's just adorable!" Molly squealed, watching the creature hop around Mohinder's desk.

Mokona responded with a "chuu~!" and jumped on her shoulder.

"Molly," Mohinder began, "why don't you take Mokona into the living room while we finish up here?" Taking the hint that she was in the way, she wandered away from Mohinder and the strange men he was working with.

"He's always sending me away while he works on stuff," she explained to Mokona. She sat on the couch and picked up a crayon to finish up a picture she had left. "But after he's done working, he'll hang out with me. Sometimes he teaches me something, and sometimes his friend comes over and we all watch a movie."

"Mokona can tell there is sadness in your heart," Mokona said delicately, pressing comfortably against her face in what felt like a hug.

"I miss my parents sometimes," she responded. "It's hard to believe they're not coming back." She stopped coloring and frowned at her picture. She reached up and held the animal close to her heart. "But even though they're always going to be my parents, I'm still happy here. Mohinder is family, too."

Mokona bounced down and then up again to give her a big kiss, making her giggle. "Mokona is happy when others are happy too~!"

Nathan Petrelli/Oliver Queen

"Come on, man," Nathan said irritably into the phone. "It's just a small endorsement, and you know it'll pay off in the long run."

"If you ask me, and I know you're not asking me, but nonetheless, you are way too obsessed with this election." Oliver Queen said in an amused tone. "Besides, if what I hear about your recent meeting with Linderman is correct, you could certainly do without any extra help."

"Do it for an old friend?" Nathan said, flashing his full smile as if Oliver could see it over the phone.

Oliver chuckled in response. "I daresay we were more than friends, Nathan."

"Ollie," Nathan warned.

"Alright, alright, I can picture your glare from here. No need to get upset. Just tell me, why is this election so important to you?"

Nathan picked up a picture from his desk for a moment before setting it down and turning away. "It's important to my family," he said simply.

"Uh huh, yeah. So it's for validation; I got it."

Nathan replied, "You son of a bitch," but he said it with a smile.

Peter Petrelli/Sam Winchester

"I swear, ever since this campaign started, it's all Nathan thinks about, talks about, cares about. He never has time for me anymore." Peter complained, sipping his coffee.

His new friend, Sam Winchester, sat across from him, wearing a similar expression. "I know what you mean, man. Dean's always just so closed off emotionally... it's like I can never get inside. I swear, it took me dying to get him to just hug me."

Peter snickered. "Oh yeah, whenever I die, I get a particularly big welcome-back hug from Nathan, but then it's all back-to-business an hour later."

"At least your brother's affectionate," Sam mumbled, scowling into his coffee mug.

"Hey," Peter said in a comforting tone, reaching out to touch Sam's arm. "Dean loves you, he really does. It's obvious. Nathan and I just grow up in a different atmosphere, that's all."

"I know," Sam added, patting Peter's hand. "Sometimes I just wish that we could be that comfortable with each other... but I guess we wouldn't be us without that distance to work around."

They moved on to small talk for several minutes, until Sam broke the mold. "Okay, I have to ask... how do you get your hair like that?"

Sendhil Ramamurthy/Sylar

"Mohinder?!" a voice called from across the store. In a few moments, a man's hand was on Sendhil's arm.

"Excuse me?" Sendhil asked, feeling a bit scandalized.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I thought... you look a lot like someone I know." He removed his hand, but the searching look in his eyes did not go away.

"It's alright. Actually, it's happened before." He pulled his jacket straight absentmindedly. "I'm Sendhil, by the way."

The man shook his hand with a smile twisting on his face. "Gabriel Sylar," he responded. "Tell me, Sendhil, do you like ice cream?"

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