Title: Complicated, with Wires and Stuff
Pairings: Chloe/Clark
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2049
Prompt: I'm guessing Clark can't get drunk, but screw that. Partially drunk Chloe trying to get fully-drunk Clark up to his loft so his parents don't find out. Bonus if Pete's there trying to help. A kiss would be nice, but no sex necessary.
Disclaimer: I admit it! I made it up!
Notes: For tab_a_slot_b.


Well, crap, Chloe thought eloquently. She hadn’t counted on Clark getting drunk when she’d asked him to come to the party. Clark was the type to avoid alcohol, fun, and any potential trouble at all costs. That’s why she had invited him, after all. To drive them home. And damned if she wasn’t the only one with her wits still about her.

This wasn’t fair. She had come here to get drunk. Life had been too predictable lately, and she wanted to let loose and have some real fun. But now, she was stuck being the responsible one. The, god save her, Designated Driver.

Clark was a funny drunk, though. Pete was, at least, acting somewhat normal. Clark, however, was talking a mile a minute and laughing over his own words and flailing.

Chloe had a feeling she’d enjoy the spectacle more if she were drunk.

“Come on, you two, in the car.” She gave Clark a light push, then couldn’t help but laugh as he stumbled ahead, almost falling. Baby’s first drunken stupor. Which seemed most likely to become baby’s first hangover in the morning.

Pete got into the front seat easily enough. She slid into the driver’s seat, eyes still on Clark. He was eyeing the car with suspicion.

“But I don’t wanna go back home,” he complained loudly. “Lana might even show up. She’s no fun.”

The pout on his face was really endearing, but Chloe couldn’t wait all night. She got out of the car and guided him into the backseat. He didn’t fit so easily into her tiny red Volkswagen. Once he was inside, he tried to pull her in with him. “No, Clark,” she corrected, trying not to laugh. “I have to sit up there.”

He looked at her, confusion etching his face, for a few long seconds.

“What?” she asked.

“But wouldn’t it be more fun to sit back here?” he whined.

Pete laughed, no, giggled, loudly from the front passenger’s seat.

Chloe rolled her eyes, then closed Clark’s door. It was gonna be a long drive.


Pete was easy enough to get home. His parents were away for the weekend. She was more worried about leaving Clark alone in her car while she made sure Pete was actually going inside his house.

When she returned, Clark was staring intently at the CD player.

She turned around in the driver’s seat. “You OK back there?”

He kept his gaze on the CD player. “There’s a lot of wires and stuff in a CD player.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. He looked up at her, then shrugged.

Halfway between Pete’s house and Clark’s, Clark broke into a giggle fit. Chloe figured it would subside, so she didn’t acknowledge him. “You’re like my chauffeur!”

Apparently, alcohol did affect higher brain functions. Clark was really annoying like this.

He was quiet for the rest of the ride. Maybe he’d fall asleep as soon as she got him up to the loft. That would be nice.

It wasn’t long before she realized the real problem was just getting him into the barn. When she opened the door, Clark was beaming up at her. She didn’t smile back. She was still bitter about the not-getting-drunk thing.

“Come on, up.” She pulled at the sleeve of Clark’s red jacket. He didn’t budge. She reached around and took both of his hands, then pulled again. He let his arms be pulled, but he stayed firmly in the backseat, goofy smile plastered on. “Clark,” she started, giving him a hesitant look, “you’re a really scary drunk, you know? You look like a clown.”

“You look beautiful,” he said frankly. She stopped mid-tug. Liking this reaction, he swung his legs out of the car. He rested elbows on knees, then head in hands, staring up at her beneath thick lashes. “Really, you do. I really like your hair. It’s, like,… mesmerizing.”

Chloe shook her head. This was just a drunken fixation. With the amount of alcohol Clark had consumed, he probably wouldn’t even remember the ride home in the morning, let alone that comment. “Clark,” she whispered, “we have to get you up there.” She pointed. “You’re very drunk, and if your parents see you like this, you’ll probably be grounded until you’re 30.”

He stuck his lower lip out. “But I wanna stay out here with you,” he said petulantly. He reached out and grabbed her left hand, then brought it up to his mouth. He kissed it gently, looking through those long lashes at her.

She practically melted. If only Clark were sober.

“At least get out of the car,” she compromised.

He did, without hesitation. She closed the door quietly, eyeing the house. No lights were going on. No sounds coming from that direction.

She gasped at the hand that Clark slipped through her hair. He giggled lightly. “It’s as soft as it looks!” he exclaimed excitedly.

Chloe had to keep herself focused. Get drunk boy upstairs in the barn. Then go home and sleep and remember, it was the alcohol talking, not Clark.

“Clark, do you really intend to stand out here all night?”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

“What if your parents come outside?”

He stared at the ground. “I can run really fast.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you can, but that doesn’t mean they won’t see you running. And you’ll have to come home eventually and face their wrath.” Her patience was beginning to wear thin. She’d had a few drinks herself, and right now she just wanted to go home and pass out for about 10 hours.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” he corrected quietly. He looked into her eyes again, sadness radiating from his expression.

Drunk or not, Chloe would never understand Clark Kent.

“They’d still see you, though,” Clark realized. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Well, thank god. “Good. C’mon.”

She walked into the barn and luckily, Clark followed. As she ascended the stairs, she noticed the telescope and thought of Lana. Would Clark be making impromptu compliments to her if she were here?

She cleared the thought out of her head, dropping onto the couch. It wouldn’t matter either way. It was just the alcohol talking. She patted the space next to her on the couch. Clark smiled and sat next to her.

“You’ll have to sleep here tonight,” she explained. “I don’t think you’re in a good condition to go into your house without waking up your parents. And face it, Clark, you’re a terrible liar.”

Clark nodded. “Sorry,” he whispered. Chloe wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. She didn’t ask, because Clark probably didn’t know, either.

He kept staring intently at her lips. She hoped it was just a strange fixation, like the CD player. If he told her that her lips had lots of wires and stuff, she was going to have to kill herself. Never again was she going to let Clark go to a drinking party.

After several more moments of silence, she realized Clark wasn’t going to say anything. “So, just… sweet dreams, I guess.” She pushed herself off the couch.

“No wait!” He jumped up, then his eyes went very wide. “Whoa. Stood up too fast.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, steadying himself on the armrest.

“C’mon, Clark. You need your rest. You’re gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning, believe me.”

“I know, but can’t…” He looked very shy suddenly. “Can’t you stay?”

No, she couldn’t. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t bear to wake up to a Clark with a major headache and no recollection of asking her to stay.

But, god, his eyes were pleading, and he looked completely adorable.

“Alright,” she complied, knowing that she would leave as soon as he fell asleep. Considering how long it had taken them to get up here, it shouldn’t be long.

That goofy smile was back, and he was easing her back onto the couch. When he sat next to her, Chloe realized he was going to attempt to sleep sitting up. She decided she’d try to get him comfortable before she left.

“Goodnight,” he said happily, his eyes closed.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, mesmerized with the peaceful look on his face. He was really beautiful.

She found a comfortable position to wait for Clark to fall asleep. At least the couch was soft. She could just lay her head on the armrest… Clark would probably start snoring when he was asleep, so it wouldn’t matter if she just closed her eyes…


When Chloe awoke, she kept her eyes closed, pretending she was still asleep. She immediately remembered the night before, so the arm thrown over her side must be Clark’s. She vaguely wondered how the couch was big enough for them to both fit.

But there were more important matters to deal with.

She quickly surveyed her surroundings before sitting up. The sun was up, and she said a silent thank you to the heavens that Clark’s dad hadn’t come looking for him.

She gently shook Clark, ready to hear his loud complaints about the sun and his splitting headache as soon as he was alert. “Clark, wake up. You have to get up, come on.”

His eyes opened slowly. Then, unexpectedly, a smile lit up his face. “Hey, Chloe.”

“Hey.” She smiled back at him. Then, concerned, she asked, “How bad’s the headache?”

Clark blinked up at her. His eyebrows drew together. “I don’t have one,” he stated, sounding as surprised as she was.

Her eyebrows shot up in response. “Not even a little bit?”

“No,” he said, fascinated. He sat up so she could sit more comfortably on the couch. “And I remember last night perfectly.”

Chloe sucked in a breath. “Everything?”

Clark laughed. “Oh yeah. I was acting like a major dork.”

Chloe laughed to relieve her nervousness. “Apparently it was the funniest thing in the world that I was driving you around like a chauffeur.”

Clark ran a hand over his face. “God, that’s really embarrassing. Sorry if I freaked you out.”

Chloe shook her head. “It was kind of nice, actually. You were being open with me, at least.”

Clark winced slightly. “I guess I deserved that. But I meant what I said. How you looked beautiful, and everything.”

He blushed and looked down at his lap.

Chloe couldn’t believe her ears.

“Did you mean what you said about me looking like a clown?” he asked, laughing nervously.

Chloe stared at him, trying to decide how much she was gambling by stating the truth. “You’re gorgeous, Clark. Grinning like a clown or not.” She waited for him to look back into her eyes.

When he did, he looked very pleased. “I wanted to kiss you all night.”

Chloe’s eyes went wide. Since when was Clark this straightforward?

“The only reason I didn’t was because you were giving off stay-away-from-me vibes.”

When Chloe didn’t respond, he continued.

“But you’re not anymore…” He hesitated. “Would you mind if I kissed you now?”

Shocked, Chloe could do nothing more than shake her head. Only when Clark leaned forward enough to brush his lips against hers did she find the power to respond. She brought one hand to cup his face and let the other thread into his hair. She pressed her lips against Clark’s, signaling him to be less hesitant. She let her tongue dart out onto his bottom lip. His lips parted slightly in invitation. Soon their tongues were exploring each other’s mouths. Chloe was overwhelmed with how long she had waited for this, for Clark.

They finally pulled back, grinning foolishly at each other.

“So I was really scary when I was drunk?”

Chloe laughed. “It has a lot of wires and stuff!” she mimicked in a low voice.

Clark beamed and brushed another gentle kiss over her lips.

“At least something good came out of it,” he murmured, focusing those beautiful eyes intently on her.

“Yeah, it did,” she finally admitted, to Clark and to herself.

As Clark leaned in for another kiss, Chloe decided maybe it was okay that she didn’t get drunk last night. This was much more fun.


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